B stayed over last night.
I woke up quite grumpy because it was a very disconnected sleep for the both of us, which isn't like us at all.
But when he realised I was upset he more than made up for it with his cutenes & general loveliness.
He is quite lovely.
Anyway, I just got back from the specialist. About my back. Two years on and it still causes me grief and constant frustration and his diagnonsense? As good as: it's fucked, deal with it.
Two years I can't turn without feeling tightness in my neck. I get headaches weekly, I am never ever comfortable, I can't sit in one position for very long or I'm in pain. I can't sweep, mop or vacuum, I have to complete it one room at a time, it takes me a week to do the whole house and by then it's messy again!
I'm just upset. He asked me to describe how the injury has impacted my life in one or a few words. He told me some people use "devastating" some people say "I can't play golf anymore"
I'm just upset. That's all I could say. I'm not depressed, because life deals us its cards and getting emotionally irrational won't help anything, but it doesn't mean I wouldn't kill to wake up and not feel pain, or to be able to jump and not have jolts of agony run through my body from my spine.
The verdict is it could take years, I just have to accept it and not push myself outside my limits (What a fun youth it's turning out to be *sigh* )
Oh well, Just is eh so just be.
Such is life.
B went to a counsellor today. I hope it helps him. I hate counselling. I lie, for starters, I always feel grossly insecure and unworthy of their highly paid time. I lie to make my issues seem trivial because I believe that's how they will see them. I've counselled myself all the way to this happy place, perhaps instead of a counsellor B should just talk more to me? He thinks I'm biased. He doesn't understand that at the end of the day I thought he needed me to walk away, that I would. I'm not about pushing things that aren't meant to be. I just think there's a reason we can't keep away from each other. And he believes in us too, he just feels odd going from a 4 yr relationshp that should have meant more into something so new and fresh with so much more potential.
Realised today my tattoo is basically a prettier way of saying "shit happens"
I like that lol
Goodnight and sweet dreams my SG pals, I'll be throwing back cocktails and Carnegies if any Perth SGAU peeps are out and about msg me on 0433229192
I woke up quite grumpy because it was a very disconnected sleep for the both of us, which isn't like us at all.
But when he realised I was upset he more than made up for it with his cutenes & general loveliness.
He is quite lovely.
Anyway, I just got back from the specialist. About my back. Two years on and it still causes me grief and constant frustration and his diagnonsense? As good as: it's fucked, deal with it.
Two years I can't turn without feeling tightness in my neck. I get headaches weekly, I am never ever comfortable, I can't sit in one position for very long or I'm in pain. I can't sweep, mop or vacuum, I have to complete it one room at a time, it takes me a week to do the whole house and by then it's messy again!
I'm just upset. He asked me to describe how the injury has impacted my life in one or a few words. He told me some people use "devastating" some people say "I can't play golf anymore"
I'm just upset. That's all I could say. I'm not depressed, because life deals us its cards and getting emotionally irrational won't help anything, but it doesn't mean I wouldn't kill to wake up and not feel pain, or to be able to jump and not have jolts of agony run through my body from my spine.
The verdict is it could take years, I just have to accept it and not push myself outside my limits (What a fun youth it's turning out to be *sigh* )
Oh well, Just is eh so just be.
Such is life.
B went to a counsellor today. I hope it helps him. I hate counselling. I lie, for starters, I always feel grossly insecure and unworthy of their highly paid time. I lie to make my issues seem trivial because I believe that's how they will see them. I've counselled myself all the way to this happy place, perhaps instead of a counsellor B should just talk more to me? He thinks I'm biased. He doesn't understand that at the end of the day I thought he needed me to walk away, that I would. I'm not about pushing things that aren't meant to be. I just think there's a reason we can't keep away from each other. And he believes in us too, he just feels odd going from a 4 yr relationshp that should have meant more into something so new and fresh with so much more potential.
Realised today my tattoo is basically a prettier way of saying "shit happens"
I like that lol
Goodnight and sweet dreams my SG pals, I'll be throwing back cocktails and Carnegies if any Perth SGAU peeps are out and about msg me on 0433229192
user071723140:
Back injuries are the worst...just keep doing what your doing and try to stay positive through it all...enjoy what is good, deal with what isn't.