(7:20:17 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: I want to write a story.
(7:20:20 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: ...
(7:20:31 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: Once upon a time there were a big ol' shitload of pirates.
(7:20:37 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: CYBORG pirates.
(7:21:00 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: They dance and played and told happy cyborg pirate tales.
(7:21:29 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: Then one day a cruel muskrat overlord came to the land of the cyborg pirates.
(7:21:33 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: "Hey." he said.
(7:21:51 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: "Hey, what is up with all of this cyborgian piratry?"
(7:23:01 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: And so, angered by the blatant cybrog pirateness of the cyborg pirates (for the muskrat overlord was kind of a dick), he totally enslaved the hell out of the peoples and whatnot.
(7:23:53 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: For many years the unhappy cyborg pirates toiled under the oppressive musk of the overlord.
(7:23:55 PM) AkiraBlast45387: have you ever heard of Emule?
(7:24:21 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: Yeah, I've never been able to get it to work very well. Now shh and let me finish my story.
(7:24:29 PM) AkiraBlast45387: k
(7:24:57 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: One day, years and years after the bad overlord muskrat guy had enslaved the populace, a little baby cyborg pirate was born.
(7:25:38 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: This cyborg pirate was named Shtizzlestikksen and quickly grew to be the biggest and most piratey of all the cyborg pirates.
(7:26:04 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: "Oh, how big and piratey that Shtizzle-whatsit guy is" the people would totally say.
(7:26:26 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: And it would be true, because he was both big and piratey, as I have already mentioned.
(7:26:31 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: So one day
(7:26:39 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: FOR NO REASON
(7:26:44 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: WITH NO WARNING
(7:27:00 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: killer evil rabbits attacked everybody.
(7:27:11 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: The evil muskrat guy was like "Shit."
(7:27:30 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: The cyborg pirates were like "Shit."
(7:27:43 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: Even the happy beer fairies went like "Aw shit."
(7:29:03 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: And so it was that Shtizzlestikksen was called before his tyrannical, furry ruler.
(7:30:42 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: The muskrat lord made Shtizzlestikksen a deal - if he could find a way to defeat the rabbit menace, he would be granted freedom and a good French baguette with cheese, bacon, oniuns, and lettuce.
(7:31:32 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: So Shtizzlestikksen set out on his quest to rid his homeland of the killer evil rabbits.
(7:31:50 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: First he went to his friend the karate nun's house.
(7:32:03 PM) AkiraBlast45387: my head hurts
(7:32:21 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: He asked if she would help him defeat the killer evil rabbits, and she said that she would, if he could answer a riddle.
(7:32:36 PM) AkiraBlast45387: Once Apon A Time
(7:32:43 PM) AkiraBlast45387: Alex shutted the fuck up
(7:33:00 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: That's crazy talk.
(7:33:53 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: So the nun asked Shtizzlestikksen her riddle, which I forget, but it was probably really hard, but he figured it out anyway because he's just badass and stuff.
(7:34:52 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: So she agreed to help him and they set off again. Shtizzlestikksenknew that he would need more help, so he went to the Guild of Killing The Hell Out of Shit.
(7:35:09 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: He was like "Yo."
(7:35:15 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: And the guildmaster was like "Yo."
(7:36:08 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: Shtizzlestikksen asked the guildmaster for aid, and the guildmaster agreed to help if Shtizzlestikksen would solve a problem.
(7:36:46 PM) AkiraBlast45387: download some of the Stranglers
(7:36:48 PM) AkiraBlast45387: they are keen
(7:36:48 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: It was probably a really really tough problem, and I forget it, but Shtizzlestikksen solved it with violence, which is totally respectable and awesome.
(7:38:09 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: Shtizzlestikksen and the karate nun, having enlisted the help of the Guild of whatever the hell I said they were, set off to find the lair of the evil bunnies.
(7:39:06 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: It was really easy because it was right next door to the guild hall with a big sign that said "LAIR OF THE EVIL BUNNIES" with a smaller sign under it that said "delicious heroes welcome".
(7:40:12 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: Shtizzlestikksen and co. opened the fucking big door and stepped inside. "Dude," said the karate nun, "this place is kinda kickass am I right?"
(7:40:16 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: And it totally was.
(7:40:46 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: There was like spikes... and shit... Coming out of the walls. Not like, real shit. Just shit in the sense of stuff. In this case cool stuff.
(7:40:57 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: Also there were evil bunnies.
(7:41:49 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: The evil bunnies totally got super pissed at the heroes and were like "rarr we will eat you" but the heroes were like "oh no you didn't" and totally wupped ass on account of there being so many of them.
(7:42:33 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: The bad evil naughty king of the bunnies came up to the heroes then, and he was like a gajillion feet tall even.
(7:43:11 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: He was pretty upset on account of all of his little evil buddies being beat up, so he started like, chasing the heroes.
(7:43:32 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: And they were like "OH NOOOO HE IS BIG"
(7:43:52 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: And he was like "HA HA I'LL TOTALLY KILL YOU AND SHIT"
(7:44:03 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: But then he tripped
(7:44:05 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: and died
(7:44:21 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: (he was allergic to tripping).
(7:45:26 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: When the evil bunny king died he exploded and everyone got covered in bunny goop. But inside the king, Shtizzlestikksen found a F-117 stealth fighter jet, which was pretty cool.
(7:46:18 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: So he used the fighter jet to take back his land for his people and get the muskrat dude to make him a sammich with all that shit I mentioned earlier.
(7:46:31 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: Then he and the karate nun had hot cyborg pirate sex.
(7:46:32 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: THE END
(7:47:13 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: There, I feel better now. And that was pretty much the best story ever so I probably won't need to write anything ever again, or read anything either.
(7:48:15 PM) AkiraBlast45387: sounds reasonable
(7:20:20 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: ...
(7:20:31 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: Once upon a time there were a big ol' shitload of pirates.
(7:20:37 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: CYBORG pirates.
(7:21:00 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: They dance and played and told happy cyborg pirate tales.
(7:21:29 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: Then one day a cruel muskrat overlord came to the land of the cyborg pirates.
(7:21:33 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: "Hey." he said.
(7:21:51 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: "Hey, what is up with all of this cyborgian piratry?"
(7:23:01 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: And so, angered by the blatant cybrog pirateness of the cyborg pirates (for the muskrat overlord was kind of a dick), he totally enslaved the hell out of the peoples and whatnot.
(7:23:53 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: For many years the unhappy cyborg pirates toiled under the oppressive musk of the overlord.
(7:23:55 PM) AkiraBlast45387: have you ever heard of Emule?
(7:24:21 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: Yeah, I've never been able to get it to work very well. Now shh and let me finish my story.
(7:24:29 PM) AkiraBlast45387: k
(7:24:57 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: One day, years and years after the bad overlord muskrat guy had enslaved the populace, a little baby cyborg pirate was born.
(7:25:38 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: This cyborg pirate was named Shtizzlestikksen and quickly grew to be the biggest and most piratey of all the cyborg pirates.
(7:26:04 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: "Oh, how big and piratey that Shtizzle-whatsit guy is" the people would totally say.
(7:26:26 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: And it would be true, because he was both big and piratey, as I have already mentioned.
(7:26:31 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: So one day
(7:26:39 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: FOR NO REASON
(7:26:44 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: WITH NO WARNING
(7:27:00 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: killer evil rabbits attacked everybody.
(7:27:11 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: The evil muskrat guy was like "Shit."
(7:27:30 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: The cyborg pirates were like "Shit."
(7:27:43 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: Even the happy beer fairies went like "Aw shit."
(7:29:03 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: And so it was that Shtizzlestikksen was called before his tyrannical, furry ruler.
(7:30:42 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: The muskrat lord made Shtizzlestikksen a deal - if he could find a way to defeat the rabbit menace, he would be granted freedom and a good French baguette with cheese, bacon, oniuns, and lettuce.
(7:31:32 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: So Shtizzlestikksen set out on his quest to rid his homeland of the killer evil rabbits.
(7:31:50 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: First he went to his friend the karate nun's house.
(7:32:03 PM) AkiraBlast45387: my head hurts
(7:32:21 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: He asked if she would help him defeat the killer evil rabbits, and she said that she would, if he could answer a riddle.
(7:32:36 PM) AkiraBlast45387: Once Apon A Time
(7:32:43 PM) AkiraBlast45387: Alex shutted the fuck up
(7:33:00 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: That's crazy talk.
(7:33:53 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: So the nun asked Shtizzlestikksen her riddle, which I forget, but it was probably really hard, but he figured it out anyway because he's just badass and stuff.
(7:34:52 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: So she agreed to help him and they set off again. Shtizzlestikksenknew that he would need more help, so he went to the Guild of Killing The Hell Out of Shit.
(7:35:09 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: He was like "Yo."
(7:35:15 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: And the guildmaster was like "Yo."
(7:36:08 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: Shtizzlestikksen asked the guildmaster for aid, and the guildmaster agreed to help if Shtizzlestikksen would solve a problem.
(7:36:46 PM) AkiraBlast45387: download some of the Stranglers
(7:36:48 PM) AkiraBlast45387: they are keen
(7:36:48 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: It was probably a really really tough problem, and I forget it, but Shtizzlestikksen solved it with violence, which is totally respectable and awesome.
(7:38:09 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: Shtizzlestikksen and the karate nun, having enlisted the help of the Guild of whatever the hell I said they were, set off to find the lair of the evil bunnies.
(7:39:06 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: It was really easy because it was right next door to the guild hall with a big sign that said "LAIR OF THE EVIL BUNNIES" with a smaller sign under it that said "delicious heroes welcome".
(7:40:12 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: Shtizzlestikksen and co. opened the fucking big door and stepped inside. "Dude," said the karate nun, "this place is kinda kickass am I right?"
(7:40:16 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: And it totally was.
(7:40:46 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: There was like spikes... and shit... Coming out of the walls. Not like, real shit. Just shit in the sense of stuff. In this case cool stuff.
(7:40:57 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: Also there were evil bunnies.
(7:41:49 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: The evil bunnies totally got super pissed at the heroes and were like "rarr we will eat you" but the heroes were like "oh no you didn't" and totally wupped ass on account of there being so many of them.
(7:42:33 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: The bad evil naughty king of the bunnies came up to the heroes then, and he was like a gajillion feet tall even.
(7:43:11 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: He was pretty upset on account of all of his little evil buddies being beat up, so he started like, chasing the heroes.
(7:43:32 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: And they were like "OH NOOOO HE IS BIG"
(7:43:52 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: And he was like "HA HA I'LL TOTALLY KILL YOU AND SHIT"
(7:44:03 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: But then he tripped
(7:44:05 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: and died
(7:44:21 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: (he was allergic to tripping).
(7:45:26 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: When the evil bunny king died he exploded and everyone got covered in bunny goop. But inside the king, Shtizzlestikksen found a F-117 stealth fighter jet, which was pretty cool.
(7:46:18 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: So he used the fighter jet to take back his land for his people and get the muskrat dude to make him a sammich with all that shit I mentioned earlier.
(7:46:31 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: Then he and the karate nun had hot cyborg pirate sex.
(7:46:32 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: THE END
(7:47:13 PM) TANK Ex Mortis: There, I feel better now. And that was pretty much the best story ever so I probably won't need to write anything ever again, or read anything either.
(7:48:15 PM) AkiraBlast45387: sounds reasonable
pr0ject605:
*giggle* that's fuckin great.
mnislahi:
