Well it's been a week and there's been a whole lot that has happened. It's been awful, but also great. So. Let me get into it.
In my last blog post I went to my GP and was prescribed anti depressants. For years, I have avoided taking medications as I used to pop pain killers like candy when I was younger. I also know people who took pain killers everyday and has caused damage long term to them. When it came to taking the anti depressants I have to admit I was very nervous about it. I actually avoided taking them until Saturday when I realised I wasn't feeling any better than when I went to the GP to get help. I needed to take them, so I did. A few hours later, I had agonising chest pains, tightness in my throat, jaw pain, nausea with hot and cold flushes. Worst feeling ever. Convinced myself I wasn't dying, I was just anxious and went back to my GP the next day. She stopped me taking them as it sounded like less common side effects of the drug and said she expected me to feel this awful for the next couple of days. By Monday I wasn't feeling much better, so I ended up in Emergency to have ECG's, bloods and X-rays. They came back clear (thank goodness) and I was advised that I should discuss coming off the Beta Blockers as they generally aren't prescribed for ectopic beats. All they could say was that I shouldn't take those anti depressants as I react to them. I have to say that I am glad I am not on them.
In between all of this, I was searching the web for holistic health, anxiety treatments and what stress does to the body. As fate has it, I stumbled across a Dr local to me who has a clinic for Chinese Herbal Medicine and Acupuncture. I gave the clinic a call and booked an appointment for the earliest time I could (which was 2 weeks wait). The lovely receptionist also had me on their cancellation list so I could get in earlier if an appointment became available. I get a phone call from them to come Tuesday, so my mum came too (as I was a bit nervous).
It was the most amazing experience. The consult was almost 2 hours, first taking my medical and life history. Then I went into a room where the acupuncture began. He placed the needles in and left me to relax. After he left the room I had this overwhelming sensation of joy flowing over me, and I began to uncontrollably giggle. It was an amazing feeling, something I haven't felt in a while, that strong anyway. I was given some Chinese herbs to cook up when I got home and made a tea brew to drink twice a day for the next week until I see him again. It smells and tastes awful, and has given my gag reflex a good workout (haha). I do feel fantastic though since seeing him, and I'm really looking forward to my next appointment.
Hopefully this is a new path of healing for me. My mind feels clearer and I have more energy through the day, and I feel generally well which I haven't for a while. I'm also looking into Tai Chi classes to keep me moving with this positive energy, as well as walking with hubby and the dogs. It's a natural approach which is what I want and I am continuing counselling as I feel this is really important to move forward.
So, it's been a rough week, but incredibly rewarding for me too. I feel like I am on my way to truly healing and getting to a place which is 'me'. I thought I would attach a photo that brings me joy. It is my parents and us on our wedding day. It is like an affirmation to me when I see these moments of happiness, as it reminds me that all is not lost. I am on a path of healing, and I am loved by many.
Much love to you all out there. Xxx
