2:00 AM already, again. I'm frustrated by my lack of progress on this paper, and it's making me edgy, which makes me angry at myself. Alpha boy is being so sweet, but like anyone, he gets annoying sometimes. Normally I brush it off, but these days I jump at the smallest bait. It isn't like me, and amazingly, he knows that and continues to be supportive. But how long can this last? I'm terrified of my image shifting in his eyes into this monster I turn into when a giant stressball swoops down and sucks away my soul. Hopefully I'll eat it alive once I've gotten into the writing of this thing. In the meantime, he's gone to bed having given up on calming me down, and I'm up alone dabbling between research and writing, not quite committing to anything. I think I'll write a paragraph and crawl in with him. There's something wonderfully comforting about knowing that a loving warm body awaits you in bed, but distracting too. I can't last much longer out here. Arrgg.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Or shouldn't I even ask?
Best of luck with it.
I go crazy if I can't write everything that gets in my head, because I just keep dwelling on it.
I take some sort of comfort in knowing that most of the people I interact with in real/professional life don't read it, but there's always an ounce of hesitation when I write something about someone that they might not want made public.
This may be why no one will be friends with me.