Mrawr. This damn site won't let me up load any set, so I have to send in a cd and wait another month or so. That's the frustrating bit; it takes about a month for the decision to be made, another for the set to go live, and more than a month to get the check, IF it's accepted at all, which my last one wasn't. (So it was actually uploaded in November, and I got paid in February,
By the way, it seems entirely appropriate to rant about dead-boring trivial bullshit on this blog, so I can spare my real live friends, and no one else has to read it. But I feel like I've said my bit. I think I'm just stressed with school. So much research. And annoyed with people and their various addictions and their claims of quitting and the whole "I don't need this, I just want it" and 01289qewi08u09qwiou)(@*#O$()Q@!!*)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah.
My staggering realization was that I don't care what the hell kind of vices anyone employs, unless they're someone I can't imagine not having in my life. Oddly I can imagine living without most of my friends; I've moved around enough to know that I make friends easily and excellent people are everywhere. I've also had the repeated experience of losing touch with people I thought I'd be best friends with forever, and being just fine. So for the most part, I let my friends have their vices, and they let me have mine.
But there have been a couple I couldn't stand to lose. Sometimes it's a "lover," someone I spend entirely Too much time with already and have occasional fleeting thoughts of 'what if...what if we wound up together, what if we had a loft in Dumbo or a cabin in the Adirondacks or we traveled through Mongolia drinking Yak butter tea...I could see myself having a cat with this one..." etc.
And in these instances, I become a lot more invested, and the same behaviors I don't mind in others grate on my nerves. Then I start to nag, just a bit here and there at first, then gradually more the more I care about the person, and they get agitated and increase the smoking/drinking/acid/whateverthefuck because they're asserting some kind of independence. From me.
What exactly is the way around this? I could decide to go back to "being chill" But I can't decide not to care. And is that better, to let someone I care about do something that isn't immediately life threatening, but won't send them into a ripe old age either? If I do wind up settling down with anyone, I'm going to want them around for a while. Or at least to have that option, you know? Enough. Maybe there's no answer besides "do your homework and stop writing boring blogs." Yeah, I like that one.
By the way, it seems entirely appropriate to rant about dead-boring trivial bullshit on this blog, so I can spare my real live friends, and no one else has to read it. But I feel like I've said my bit. I think I'm just stressed with school. So much research. And annoyed with people and their various addictions and their claims of quitting and the whole "I don't need this, I just want it" and 01289qewi08u09qwiou)(@*#O$()Q@!!*)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah.
My staggering realization was that I don't care what the hell kind of vices anyone employs, unless they're someone I can't imagine not having in my life. Oddly I can imagine living without most of my friends; I've moved around enough to know that I make friends easily and excellent people are everywhere. I've also had the repeated experience of losing touch with people I thought I'd be best friends with forever, and being just fine. So for the most part, I let my friends have their vices, and they let me have mine.
But there have been a couple I couldn't stand to lose. Sometimes it's a "lover," someone I spend entirely Too much time with already and have occasional fleeting thoughts of 'what if...what if we wound up together, what if we had a loft in Dumbo or a cabin in the Adirondacks or we traveled through Mongolia drinking Yak butter tea...I could see myself having a cat with this one..." etc.
And in these instances, I become a lot more invested, and the same behaviors I don't mind in others grate on my nerves. Then I start to nag, just a bit here and there at first, then gradually more the more I care about the person, and they get agitated and increase the smoking/drinking/acid/whateverthefuck because they're asserting some kind of independence. From me.
What exactly is the way around this? I could decide to go back to "being chill" But I can't decide not to care. And is that better, to let someone I care about do something that isn't immediately life threatening, but won't send them into a ripe old age either? If I do wind up settling down with anyone, I'm going to want them around for a while. Or at least to have that option, you know? Enough. Maybe there's no answer besides "do your homework and stop writing boring blogs." Yeah, I like that one.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
I'm a little late on the comments, but wold you really want a loft in Dumbo?