Dancing is fun.
But it can lead to complications when people think you haven't got the right to dance with anybody else.
In fact, when someone starts thinking along those lines, complications are inevitable, dancing or not.
But if you tell them straight up that you don't want to be anybody's girlfriend, does that justify allowing them to believe that you are and then basely disabusing them of the notion? I'm realizing that my clear and honest words may have been telling a different truth from the one that my actions, or my eyes were letting on.
Afterall, you can tell someone you're not interested in falling in love, but give them such a genuinely sappy starry-eyed gaze that they forget everything you've been saying for the months that have passed. And then you've inadvertently presented them with another, less calculated truth.
We are all contradictory creatures, and I don't think anyone can only ever feel one thing towards someone. But philosophizing about human nature doesn't do shit when you've hurt someone you care about. Better to keep one of those truths in check, I suppose, even if it is a binding, confining feeling.
Only...which one?[/img]
But it can lead to complications when people think you haven't got the right to dance with anybody else.
In fact, when someone starts thinking along those lines, complications are inevitable, dancing or not.
But if you tell them straight up that you don't want to be anybody's girlfriend, does that justify allowing them to believe that you are and then basely disabusing them of the notion? I'm realizing that my clear and honest words may have been telling a different truth from the one that my actions, or my eyes were letting on.
Afterall, you can tell someone you're not interested in falling in love, but give them such a genuinely sappy starry-eyed gaze that they forget everything you've been saying for the months that have passed. And then you've inadvertently presented them with another, less calculated truth.
We are all contradictory creatures, and I don't think anyone can only ever feel one thing towards someone. But philosophizing about human nature doesn't do shit when you've hurt someone you care about. Better to keep one of those truths in check, I suppose, even if it is a binding, confining feeling.
Only...which one?[/img]
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I say "who you want to be" because after doing the long term relationship thing for awhile (the last one lasting 5 years) I decided that I was being stupid and selfishly wasting someone's time (and my own) by trying to be in serious relationships at this stage in my life.
Since then I've been a slut. It's pretty much the first thing I tell someone when I meet them (if I'm remotely interested) and more often than not, ends up creating a closer bond because of the honesty. Out of that I've had some fantastic non-monogamous relationships that have turned into great friendships.
So, if you find this person attractive and they can handle the idea, maybe you should consider seeing them in an open relationship?
Otherwise, you run the risk of leading them on - they're always going to hold hope out for you and every sappy look you give them will be an open door in their eyes.
Communicate explicitly and often. Life is too short for head games.
Hope it works out for you.
I look into her eyes late at night at the bar
I know she has a man but......
its just the moment