tallahassee

everything is falling apart this weekend. i just want to curl up in a ball and cry. i don't understand why things like this always seem to happen to me. one second things are finally starting to look like they might work out, and the next they're worse than ever. i really need to see dalton right now, and he's all the way out in fucking berea. and OF COURSE neither of us drive, OF COURSE. bc that would mean that something would have gone right. nope. things just don't go right for me. EVER. i should just get used to this bc its going to be this way forever. maybe i should stop trying to make new friends before i drag them down with me. melodromatic? maybe. but its all too true. i can't remember a single time in my life wehn something went right without being immediately followed by several equally bad things happening to completely overshadow it. times like this make me question how anyone can have faith in a god who lets innocent children die of starvation while corporate america sits on its morbidly obese ass and does nothing. if god was all powerful, he would intervene. so either he's not all-powerful and therefore is nothing more than some dead guy up in the sky and doesnt deserve ANYONE's praise, or he's a vindictive asshole who just doesnt care. my bet is on the latter, seeing as we're supposedly made in his image and from what i can tell, people are all assholes on the inside, with very few exceptions. fuck god, fuck religion, its all a waste of time. in fact, fuck all life in general, before it fucks you first.

fuck.