tallahassee

feeling much less panicked now. i was really freaking out for a bit, but i'm starting to calm down a lot. i talked to a really good friend of mine today who told me the same thing i've been hearling from everyone for weeks, but for some reason this time it really worked. i don't need to worry bc i have all the way until december to find a job, and i'd have to TRY not to find something by then. idky this never hit home until now, but it really did. i still need to work on finding ppl in the area to hang out with so i don't go crazy from the isolation, but other than that i think i'm going to be ok. i'll write more when i'm not so tired. thanks for reading guys, and for putting up with all the bullshit i've been dealing with lately. and speaking of bullshit, i'm going to stand up to my mom the next time she gives me shit about not going to school and tell her that clearly her precious little god didn't want me to go to school right away and clearly wanted me to take a year off instead to get used to living on my own (like i had originally planned, before she talked me out of it) bc he's doing everything in his power to keep me from going. or maybe something a little less harsh. either way, i'm not taking any more crap from her about it. its my life and my money and i don't want to waste it on going to school just for the sake of going to school.