tall

So I used to belong to this SG group (whose name I wont mention), about dating. I start noticing that there are a group of guys who constantly denigrate "women" in general, and some of the women in this group in particular. Now as the child of a single mother, who worked all the time to support us, I take offense to this. So the "moderator" (parenthesis added to denote sarcasm) turns out to be one of the guys. Its funny to find them hanging out at a website that focuses on female empowerment and sexuality, but here they are.

So any way the "moderator" starts emailing me that I am harassing him and calling me the PC police. Because I said that it was misogynistic to say that most women were "lazy and bitchy" I got this letter:

"What pisses me off is your trying to apply rules into a group that is not yours. I want this group to be the one place hurt people can go to bitch and moan and act like bitter assholes if they want to. I want this group to be a sanctuary for there pain and be able to generalize and get it out without fear
of the PC police. The society we live in simply doesn't allow us to vent like this in most places and since I'm in control that is the type of place I want. You are directly trying to take out one of the main purposes of the group and you will not be allowed to do that. If you disagree fine say your peace and move on Keep it cool but if you start harassing me or other posters because they are venting you will not
last long. You can create your own group on SG I would suggest doing so if you have a problem with the direction in this one."

I don't think that saying that some one who portrays the "vast majority of women" as "lazy and bitchy" is making a misogynistic statement is that far off base.

Anyway that's "the moderators" perception. The big strong man protecting his community from a the nasty PC police. Sounds good doesn't it? He needs a place where he can belittle women, so that he can feel better about himself. Not everyone sees things his way. There are several posters who routinely attack other posters. Mainly they are men, attacking women. They seem to see things his way, and they get a pass.

As there are at least two sides to every story, Id like to add what one of the women wrote to me:

" I think what's harassing is all those guys making awful, hateful statements. Those statements are what make a lot of women feel unsafe. I haven't seen any hateful, statements made by women about men. There might be, but I haven't seen them. I find that a lot of those guys get pissed off because I'm able to back up my thoughts with scientific, research reviews. Then some of them make nasty comments about "educated" women. Quotation marks are theirs, not mine. I'm surprised they're members of SG as this is quite the feminist site. Anyhow, keep posting as you are one of the few male voices in the group that is rational, educated and reasonable"

OK, so here is the question; whose right? Am I harassing the "moderator" by saying that he is making gross overgeneralizations about women, or is he "moderating" the thread in a biased self-centered fashion that allows his views on dating relations to predominate. I think he lets posters that agree with him say pretty mean things to female posters and then cries foul when anyone disagrees. But not before beating his breast, and making HIS argument one last time, and closing the thread.

So, because I like a lot of the posters on this group, I was going to let it slide. But then I noticed a change in the group statement to include the term "PC Police". I think the term "PC police" is pure BS. Basically, like a lot of right wing folks, the "moderator" is saying is that "I can say WHATEVER I want about women, who make up a large part of this group, but no one can call me on it, because if you do then you are the PC Police." Its like reading Rush Limbaugh or Anne Coulter, I don't know whether to laugh or puke. So he can go off, but you can't disagree, seems like a pretty dull discourse, no?

Since when did it become OK to say say stuff like that? I'm an old-fashioned guy. I think that if you say something like that "the vast majority of women are whiny and bitchy", then you are personally insulting and attacking every single reader with more than one X chromosome, and by extention everyone who has a friend or relative with two XXs. Think about it: what if he had said something about the "vast majority" of another group (i.e. Black people, Jews, Hispanics Gay folks)? How would that sit? What if used a common derogetory (as the term "bitchy" is for women) for a member of one of those groups?

So I quit that group: I will have no part in it. Maybe the "moderator" will be happy that I'm gone, but at least I wont have to read his posts and think "this is why women are scared of men".

The bottom line is that I will wake up tomorrow happy and content in my life.

Ill leave you with the "moderators" idea of a an ideal woman:

"I want a hot chick . . . She is not a nagger and leaves me alone when I need my space and is not a typical bitchy moany chick that requires high maintanance and tons of attention for no reason."

(God after just cutting and pasting that I need to wash my hands. )

Ill add that I would like to thank all my new NY/NJ friends. If my only contact with SG was with this guy Id quit. Y'all are great. I know that there are tons of cool sg guys and girls out there who like to talk dirty, play pool, drink and eat sushi And I dont care about anything else.