takora

if i were to die tonight, i'd be cool with that... this has been the most wonderful past few days, on so many levels... the happiness i am feeling now will continue for days... i really feel like i should step back and organize my thoughts before setting them down here, but that just ain't gonna happen. so please permit me some rambling and narrative leaps, should they occur... last night i saw one of my favorite ever all time bands for the first time... * L O V E *. and it was toofuckingincredibleforanykindofwords. i was right at the absolute front edge of the stage, dead center, dancing my ass off... i shook Arthur Lee's hand. i felt like a fucking 14 year old school girl at an (*insert name of screamyteenybopperfrenzy band here*). 'forever changes' is... i'm not gonna get into a music discussion here, because i've worked in enough record stores to know that it's boring to talk about music. but if you haven't heard that album, 'forever changes', i hope you might be moved to check it out... so saturday night was PERFECT. a blissful and ecstatic show. and i also had some really interesting conversations with total strangers who had also camped out early to get right up close to the stage, and all we had in common was an obsession with this band. some of them were obvious hipster types, some of them were suburban parents (or grandparents), some were dumb punk kids (like me), it just didn't matter! i am still sore from frantically convulsing orgasmically to every single fucking note, in some strange new parody of dancing... and i went to see them again tonight. only this time i got to see them from a reserved table on the balcony. directly overlooking the stage. if there are any regular readers here, you might have figured out that i currently have two serious crushes in my life. they are both long-standing crushes, but sadly, the woman that i am actually having sex with is niether of them. one crush knows about my feelings for her and dips into me occaisionally, enjoying the attention, and then running far far away... the other crush i don't think knows what i'm thinking. actually, i think she must know, but it's just not talked about... i've never said anything too overt, and we're just great friends. even though i am all for the complete disolution of those lines that keep sexuality out of frindship... but anyway! this latter mentioned crush and her boss were able to get a VIP table directly overlooking the stage, and i went there with her and him and a few other drinking buddies, and the show was just as ecstatic as the previous night, but it was also a different show from the previous night. so after going to concerts for so many years i think the two greatest concerts of my life may well have been by the same band on two consecutive nights this past weekend... and it doesn't really help that my crush had never even heard this band until i turned her on to them about a month or so ago, and now i get to see them with her and she so completely 'gets' why i love them so much, and she does too, and she has even shown me new reasons to love them so much, and a few times during the show she 'showgasmed' and fell back into my arms, and it was so hard not to kiss her or hold her just a little bit longer... and after the show, after we had all been hanging out at the bar for a few hours afterwards and we were saying goodbye she kissed me on the lips... and i so wish i could make somethig out of that , but i just know it's not there... sadly.. but i am still blindfully, blissfully, stupidly, happy...

"this is the time in life that i am living, and i'll face each day with a smile. for the time that i've been given is such a little while, and the things that i must do consist of more than style... there'll be time for you to start all over... this is the only thing that i am sure of-- and that's all that lives is gonna die. and there'll always be some people here to wonder why, and for every happy 'hello' there will be 'goodbye'... everything i've seen is rearranging, and for anyone who thinks it's strange, then you should be the first to want to make this change. and for everyone who thinks that life is just a game-- do you like the part you are playing?" - Arthur Lee & LOVE

the only true love in my life (other than The Cat) is the band that i just saw, and that's ok for tonight...


yo!:
INKEDGirl: those stories are coming up soon!

pathogen: saltines are coming up. i haveta figure out if my digicam will take pix automatically with a time stamp to satisfy the sponsers of the event's authenticity...

maxx: i am glad you are glad. that was sorta the point, not that the point was actually thought out or accurate or anything! but you got my message!

tommysativa: yeah, go ahead & front like that's not something that we all do.

thirsty: no, YOU go see him! i just did, twice! that's why i'm so happy!

sumgirl: thank you! that was really funny! now we just need the single alchoholic sanrio character that i'll be able to both appreciate from a design point of view, and also identify with!

Toreena: had i known you'd just be watching, i would have tried to put on a much better show for you... give me a second chance?

twelvis: and you wonder why we don't talk or hang out? geez, are you the taliban or something? i mean, i do appreciate your contrary nature, but fuck!

and just to end this rambling twatage of spazz--

L O V E ! L O V E ! L O V E !

i don't wanna say it's all you need, but i must secretly acknowlege that that is so...