This letter I sent is probably why I suck, I have no way of feeling emotions unless they're with someone who doesn't want me. Someone who gives me attention & takes it away. I am a broken love robot.
What's wrong with me Amanda?
I'm healthy again, I over came a lot of my mental problems, I had quit my job, I moved into a home with people who were taking care of me & helping me get better off my addictions. I have a new life, I'm smarter, my past is finally in check, I have happiness & love. I have a great job, a car, money. I have what I need, I know how to be happy, I can honestly say my life is amazing & will stay that way. I just don't understand why out of everyone in my life that has affected me, you have left the biggest mark. I knew you for a day, I don't get how I fell so hard. I remember you, I remember your face, your most amazing smile ever, what you were wearing, the sad face you made when we left, your voice, eyes, hair, taste, smell, just everything about that day & night. I just want to know what you did to me, how did you hook me? I have had plenty of girls come in & out of my life, you're the only one I ever have felt regret for pushing away. I just need you to tell me why you hate me. I guess I just want to know so if I ever get lucky enough to meet someone like you again I wont mess that up. I know why I fell for you so much, you are in my eyes to my brain to me, you were truly perfect. I mean that. A perfect girl both inside & out. I loved talking to you after I had met you. It amazed me how beautifully smart you are. I just don't know what I did to make you not even want to be my friend. I respect you, & I'm not expecting to ever hear from you again, I think this is for me, a way to say goodbye. I wish I could just see you one more time. It's like you died & I don't want to let go. I just want to play it right. I just want you to know, because I feel the way I do, I will do anything for you. I have only felt this way once with another person & she passed away. So I do mean it, if you do read this, please believe me when I tell you, whatever you need in your life, tomorrow, a month or years from now, I will be there. If you need money, if you need help I know you have friends & family, but I will always be here for you no matter what, I will be your safety net when all else fails. Your personal guardian angel ready for you whenever you need him. I rather know I can help you then never here from you again. I will always be your friend.
It's almost been a year sense my hand left yours, & not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about you.
What's wrong with me Amanda?
I'm healthy again, I over came a lot of my mental problems, I had quit my job, I moved into a home with people who were taking care of me & helping me get better off my addictions. I have a new life, I'm smarter, my past is finally in check, I have happiness & love. I have a great job, a car, money. I have what I need, I know how to be happy, I can honestly say my life is amazing & will stay that way. I just don't understand why out of everyone in my life that has affected me, you have left the biggest mark. I knew you for a day, I don't get how I fell so hard. I remember you, I remember your face, your most amazing smile ever, what you were wearing, the sad face you made when we left, your voice, eyes, hair, taste, smell, just everything about that day & night. I just want to know what you did to me, how did you hook me? I have had plenty of girls come in & out of my life, you're the only one I ever have felt regret for pushing away. I just need you to tell me why you hate me. I guess I just want to know so if I ever get lucky enough to meet someone like you again I wont mess that up. I know why I fell for you so much, you are in my eyes to my brain to me, you were truly perfect. I mean that. A perfect girl both inside & out. I loved talking to you after I had met you. It amazed me how beautifully smart you are. I just don't know what I did to make you not even want to be my friend. I respect you, & I'm not expecting to ever hear from you again, I think this is for me, a way to say goodbye. I wish I could just see you one more time. It's like you died & I don't want to let go. I just want to play it right. I just want you to know, because I feel the way I do, I will do anything for you. I have only felt this way once with another person & she passed away. So I do mean it, if you do read this, please believe me when I tell you, whatever you need in your life, tomorrow, a month or years from now, I will be there. If you need money, if you need help I know you have friends & family, but I will always be here for you no matter what, I will be your safety net when all else fails. Your personal guardian angel ready for you whenever you need him. I rather know I can help you then never here from you again. I will always be your friend.
It's almost been a year sense my hand left yours, & not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about you.