my perception of right and wrong is forever warped....
i heard on eof the most bizare things ever today, and it has forver warped my reality. It's been several hours since, but nothing makes sense in my head except for the math that is my job. Lots of math. Few things will make you feel like a worthless person than taking the money of someone who just showed you their 90 day chip from Gamblers Annonymous. After that I had to get off the table and let someone else deal, that was a little much. Not because it really effects me or anything, but I just .... i dunno, felt bad about it. It's just my morals/sense of shame acting up again and since we can't drink on-site I was stuck with guilt and mozzerella sticks. Not a bad night though. I don't work til saturday so somehow I need to stretch my 50+ dollars in tips for a few days of drinking and a little gas. Though my parents car broke down this weekend and they have to use mine for a while. I'm very territorial, admittedly, and few things irk me more than handing my keys over to ANYONE! Usually I will only do it when there is no other option (i.e. the minneapolis trip when I couldn't keep my eyes open or I was too drunk to focus) but this is just a little much for me. I really despise letting them take my car MULTIPLE times in a day, thought their car should be fixed by mid-week probably. The experiance still makes me want to puke blood.
I think i'm over my latest infatuation though, which is probably best for all involved (especially her). Just stilly, really. And though I really don't need a relatioship in town when i intend to me moving soon, it's just one of those 'wouldn't it be nice' things.
All the lonley people. where do they all come from?
All the lonley people, where do they all belong?
How could I dance with another, when I saw her standing there?
My tears are falling like rain from the sky, is it for her or myself that I cry?
fuckin Beatles. I have Rigby, Saw Her Standing There, and 'I'm a Loser' stuck in my head all at once. Oh well...this is the definition of my life...
i heard on eof the most bizare things ever today, and it has forver warped my reality. It's been several hours since, but nothing makes sense in my head except for the math that is my job. Lots of math. Few things will make you feel like a worthless person than taking the money of someone who just showed you their 90 day chip from Gamblers Annonymous. After that I had to get off the table and let someone else deal, that was a little much. Not because it really effects me or anything, but I just .... i dunno, felt bad about it. It's just my morals/sense of shame acting up again and since we can't drink on-site I was stuck with guilt and mozzerella sticks. Not a bad night though. I don't work til saturday so somehow I need to stretch my 50+ dollars in tips for a few days of drinking and a little gas. Though my parents car broke down this weekend and they have to use mine for a while. I'm very territorial, admittedly, and few things irk me more than handing my keys over to ANYONE! Usually I will only do it when there is no other option (i.e. the minneapolis trip when I couldn't keep my eyes open or I was too drunk to focus) but this is just a little much for me. I really despise letting them take my car MULTIPLE times in a day, thought their car should be fixed by mid-week probably. The experiance still makes me want to puke blood.
I think i'm over my latest infatuation though, which is probably best for all involved (especially her). Just stilly, really. And though I really don't need a relatioship in town when i intend to me moving soon, it's just one of those 'wouldn't it be nice' things.
All the lonley people. where do they all come from?
All the lonley people, where do they all belong?
How could I dance with another, when I saw her standing there?
My tears are falling like rain from the sky, is it for her or myself that I cry?
fuckin Beatles. I have Rigby, Saw Her Standing There, and 'I'm a Loser' stuck in my head all at once. Oh well...this is the definition of my life...