tailofdogma

if it weren't for my horse, i wouldn't have spent that year in college

I'm a song-writer, or at least that's what I used to tell myself years ago. When Cassie and I broke up after dating for seven months, I didn't take it well. I locked myself in the attic and wrote songs to explain how it felt to have my heart ripped out (much like my Shelly-induced haze but with a better soundtrack). And since all I was listening to was Nine Inch Nails' Pretty Hate Machine, it made sense that I was writing songs and starting to arrange them musically.

So when home this summer I found my notebook but hadn't really looked too deeply it. Not until tonight. I was looking through all seventy-five (i was busy that summer) and the only thing i got out of doing that is realizing i should have been in therepy or something. Some of this is so off the wall and awful, other parts are so 'my heart was crushed but i'd do anything to be crushed again'.

Since i'm writing a new song for Oedipus, I thought i'd find more than i did. Found a couple of interesting lines, but since i'm not intending to write a song about getting my heart ripped out it didn't really serve any purpose. I almost needed a shower or hug after going through all of those shitty songs. I have a couple of good ideas for the piano parts though. I still haven't played since like September but that might all change if i end up doing right where it belongs. who knows