The Real Deal
I want some realness here.
This whole SG thing is starting to feel a lot like masturbation.
Just as one's hand can never compare to the touch of a real woman, all these interactions I have here are starting to feel a bit mechanical.
I want the real thing dammit.
All the people I've met here are incredibly wonderful and cool, but you can only go so far with comments back and forth in each other's journals. Dammit, I want to see you laugh and I want to see you cry for myself. I'm tired of reading the digest version of the day's events. (don't worry, i'm not going to start stalking you all..... unless you want me to)
But this all seems a logistical improbability. A group of people scattered all around the world, connected via only this internet thing. If I'm lucky, I'll meet one of you eventually and we'll have a beer.
But hey, that's great. A beer together would be great. But in the meantime, how many times am I going to post a stupid picture or write a stupid journal entry and reply to comments before it starts to get old? I'm really not that interesting. None of us really are that interesting if you think about it. But at some point, we were all new to each other which made things fun. But once you've taken it as far as it can go on the world wide web, then what?
I don't know what I'm saying. It's 5:23 in the a.m. I've had only 5 hours real sleep in the past two days, and I'm still kind of hopped up on cough medication.
Bottom line: I love you all.... unfortunately I'm just not in love with you. And I really just want to be in love with someone or something right now. That's where this whole SG community thing is starting to reflect my internal feeling of isolation back to me.
Boo hoo, cry me a fucking river, right?
Yeah, I know....
Currently listening to: Rogue Wave - Out of the Shadows
(NOTE: this is so fucking good! it just keeps growing on me. and they're local too! if you like Simon & Garfunkel, The Shins, The Pixies, or Apples in Stereo, you'll love these guys. i think they have clips of all their album tracks on their site)
I want some realness here.
This whole SG thing is starting to feel a lot like masturbation.
Just as one's hand can never compare to the touch of a real woman, all these interactions I have here are starting to feel a bit mechanical.
I want the real thing dammit.
All the people I've met here are incredibly wonderful and cool, but you can only go so far with comments back and forth in each other's journals. Dammit, I want to see you laugh and I want to see you cry for myself. I'm tired of reading the digest version of the day's events. (don't worry, i'm not going to start stalking you all..... unless you want me to)
But this all seems a logistical improbability. A group of people scattered all around the world, connected via only this internet thing. If I'm lucky, I'll meet one of you eventually and we'll have a beer.
But hey, that's great. A beer together would be great. But in the meantime, how many times am I going to post a stupid picture or write a stupid journal entry and reply to comments before it starts to get old? I'm really not that interesting. None of us really are that interesting if you think about it. But at some point, we were all new to each other which made things fun. But once you've taken it as far as it can go on the world wide web, then what?
I don't know what I'm saying. It's 5:23 in the a.m. I've had only 5 hours real sleep in the past two days, and I'm still kind of hopped up on cough medication.
Bottom line: I love you all.... unfortunately I'm just not in love with you. And I really just want to be in love with someone or something right now. That's where this whole SG community thing is starting to reflect my internal feeling of isolation back to me.
Boo hoo, cry me a fucking river, right?
Yeah, I know....
Currently listening to: Rogue Wave - Out of the Shadows
(NOTE: this is so fucking good! it just keeps growing on me. and they're local too! if you like Simon & Garfunkel, The Shins, The Pixies, or Apples in Stereo, you'll love these guys. i think they have clips of all their album tracks on their site)
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
doll_:
i am not a machine....i am not a machine
leanimal:
aw - your journal sounded so sad - I know that the whole virtual thing may not be enough - but there's always more out there - a whole big shining world of people - who aren't even on SG - hell, maybe you could even work backwards and get the real world to come on here, and...I have no idea what I'm saying. I know - it's weird - we all get on here and write each other - and we don't know each other, and yeah - none of us is real interesting - but it passes the time at least - no? And there's hot naked chicks to boot - now I think I'm hopped up on something. In any case, there's lots of stuff to inject yourself in to - it's just that sometimes it's not as convenient as turning on, clicking, and typing.