So, Fatherhood...
My sons both have asberger's syndrome. This is the mildest form of autism and is generally a hell of a lot easier ride than child hood diabetes, polio, m.s. or a host of other problems. Basically it means that there is a subtle yet absolute twist in the in of their perception and the out of their communication.
They have a disconnect between self and other that makes them sound like little Sarah Palins at times. They are unable to anticipate other's reaction to their observations, and don't always seems to care. Coaching them on compassion is part of my job.
So, if my oldest thinks you are wrong, he will tell you so. He'll also aggressively deconstruct your argument and really not give a damn if you are torn up by this. This hasn't played so well for him in school in the south. He had a science versus religion conversation in science class. He argued with his teacher and classmates that creationism belonged in social studies class where they were learning about "all those religions from the desert." He thought that the main idea behind creationism is unprovable and belongs in social studies as it is "well thought hoping" with no way to test it.
Now, he's about 175 lbs & 5' 11" at 13. When the local cadre of cross burners tried to rough him up, he was able to (rather artlessly) bang them against each other until they reconsidered this approach.
The after action was interesting.
Daddy: Heard you had a fight in school today.
Son: No.
Daddy: Didn't you have an argument after science class.
Son: A bunch of boys said I didn't love Jesus and shoved me.
Daddy: What did you do?
Son: Shoved back. But their there were four of them, so I had to shove harder.
Daddy: Were you mad? Scared?
Son: They hurt me. I cried and they laughed at me.
Daddy: What did you do?
Son: I had to hurt them worse to make them stop. So I kept picking up the closest one and throwing him at the kid next to him. They ended up all falling down.
Daddy: How do you feel?
Son: Fine.
Daddy: Not mad or sad?
Son: They are dumb. They are stuck on an idea.
Daddy: What idea?
Son: The God thing.
Daddy: God is a big idea.
Son: It's not science. It's hopes and wishes and what people believe. They got scared and mad when I out thought them.
Daddy: Religion is really important to people.
Son: If something is important to you, then you should talk about it without getting mean. How can you make the idea better if you are afraid of it changing?
Daddy: Some ideas are so important to people that they get scared if they think the idea is going to change.
Son: They are dumb. Everything changes.
He was completely disconnected from the passion behind religion and also the emotional state of the kids he got into it with. To say he is disrespectful of their beliefs misses the point with him. He doesn't see respect as necessary.
I completely respect his intellectual firepower. Not so much the lack of empathy. More on this later...
My sons both have asberger's syndrome. This is the mildest form of autism and is generally a hell of a lot easier ride than child hood diabetes, polio, m.s. or a host of other problems. Basically it means that there is a subtle yet absolute twist in the in of their perception and the out of their communication.
They have a disconnect between self and other that makes them sound like little Sarah Palins at times. They are unable to anticipate other's reaction to their observations, and don't always seems to care. Coaching them on compassion is part of my job.
So, if my oldest thinks you are wrong, he will tell you so. He'll also aggressively deconstruct your argument and really not give a damn if you are torn up by this. This hasn't played so well for him in school in the south. He had a science versus religion conversation in science class. He argued with his teacher and classmates that creationism belonged in social studies class where they were learning about "all those religions from the desert." He thought that the main idea behind creationism is unprovable and belongs in social studies as it is "well thought hoping" with no way to test it.
Now, he's about 175 lbs & 5' 11" at 13. When the local cadre of cross burners tried to rough him up, he was able to (rather artlessly) bang them against each other until they reconsidered this approach.
The after action was interesting.
Daddy: Heard you had a fight in school today.
Son: No.
Daddy: Didn't you have an argument after science class.
Son: A bunch of boys said I didn't love Jesus and shoved me.
Daddy: What did you do?
Son: Shoved back. But their there were four of them, so I had to shove harder.
Daddy: Were you mad? Scared?
Son: They hurt me. I cried and they laughed at me.
Daddy: What did you do?
Son: I had to hurt them worse to make them stop. So I kept picking up the closest one and throwing him at the kid next to him. They ended up all falling down.
Daddy: How do you feel?
Son: Fine.
Daddy: Not mad or sad?
Son: They are dumb. They are stuck on an idea.
Daddy: What idea?
Son: The God thing.
Daddy: God is a big idea.
Son: It's not science. It's hopes and wishes and what people believe. They got scared and mad when I out thought them.
Daddy: Religion is really important to people.
Son: If something is important to you, then you should talk about it without getting mean. How can you make the idea better if you are afraid of it changing?
Daddy: Some ideas are so important to people that they get scared if they think the idea is going to change.
Son: They are dumb. Everything changes.
He was completely disconnected from the passion behind religion and also the emotional state of the kids he got into it with. To say he is disrespectful of their beliefs misses the point with him. He doesn't see respect as necessary.
I completely respect his intellectual firepower. Not so much the lack of empathy. More on this later...
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
inkedgeek:
Enjoy!
otoki:
Sounds like a good idea. I need to read more non-fiction but the fiction (if it's good) always draws me in more.