Last night I decided to stay at Kelley's house for the first time since we've been dating (almost 2 years now). She stays with me all the time, but never the other way around. It felt good. I was comfortable but at the same time in a new environment. She does however have a tiny bed, but I still slept fine (other than having to...
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So I haven't been dealing very well with Nick's death. I took it upon myself to repress all the feelings that I have and develop an anxiety/depression problem. I ended up going to the doctor yesterday and getting antidepressants, but I decided not to take them. I've also decided it's time to uncover the repressed feelings I have.
Truth is I'm a mess, so much...
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Truth is I'm a mess, so much...
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trilobitten:
wow. i am so sorry.
*hugs*
*hugs*
qwerty:
When my Dad died unexpectedly, I did the same thing but it came out in a different way. You started to worry about everything, I worried about nothing. Which although sounds good, is very dangerous. It's taken me 6 months to see that discounting my Father's death made everything else in my life also completely worthless. Nothing really matters. I recognize that I have a problem now, but how to deal with it is another matter. I like feeling nothing.
But bereavement isn't a straight path, and starting to deal with you feelings is the first step.
But bereavement isn't a straight path, and starting to deal with you feelings is the first step.
I wasn't really going to blog today...but a few things came to mind that I feel like talking about.
First I would like to say that I spent entirely too much money this year on chirstmas presents. I spent over 330$ on my girlfriend (going over our agreed limit), like 60$ on my mom and 100$ on my dad, 40$ on my sister and 50$...
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First I would like to say that I spent entirely too much money this year on chirstmas presents. I spent over 330$ on my girlfriend (going over our agreed limit), like 60$ on my mom and 100$ on my dad, 40$ on my sister and 50$...
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trilobitten:
in response to the questions you asked me about a million years ago, i do work and go to school. as for my goals.......i am so lost.
i don't think i've bought christmas presents for my friends for a while. i used to. but then i started getting lazy and running out of time. so i kinda quit doing it and just buy for family. looks like you got nice stuff for everybody, supporting all their habits. wish someone was supporting my drinking/vibrating habits.
so, what's a HVAC system?
(p.s. don't forget the photos!)
i don't think i've bought christmas presents for my friends for a while. i used to. but then i started getting lazy and running out of time. so i kinda quit doing it and just buy for family. looks like you got nice stuff for everybody, supporting all their habits. wish someone was supporting my drinking/vibrating habits.
so, what's a HVAC system?
(p.s. don't forget the photos!)
emiloo2:
You'll get a lot more people checking out your profile if you put a pic of yourself up. I guarantee it.
Have you ever watched Neon Genesis Evangelion??
Have you ever watched Neon Genesis Evangelion??
I tend to disapeer on the weekends. But I'm back on a normal Monday at work. I have good news and bad news that came from the past events from Firday evening to Sunday evening.
I'll start with the good news....for the first time in my life I got head from my girlfriend while I was driving on the highway. I guess it's pretty shallow...
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I'll start with the good news....for the first time in my life I got head from my girlfriend while I was driving on the highway. I guess it's pretty shallow...
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alleycake:
Thanks! lol Yea my dad is getting me a house and I'm just gunna pay rent. Yay.
Yes I have played "indian poker" a few times, usually while drunk or just being stupid lol. It can be funny.
That movie was so predictable though... lol. My boyfriend always knows what I'm going to get him too. Oh well.
Yes I have played "indian poker" a few times, usually while drunk or just being stupid lol. It can be funny.
That movie was so predictable though... lol. My boyfriend always knows what I'm going to get him too. Oh well.
explosiveorchid:
here in mexico city... the coldest right now? 5 celsius.... pretty cold.... that's probably only in the mourning and when it's dark....
in my hometown.... perhaps.... -2 celsius.... don't really know the conversion to farenheit... but all i can say it's pretty cold for me... well... it's maybe cuz i'm not that used to cold weather now... i lived for a year in canada and believe me it was COLD out there... still i loved it!
i've never given head to a guy while driving... is it safe?! hahaha, can u imagine.... if you crash in the middle of the highway... that would be an ugly dead to the gal don't u think!?
ok... don't listen to what i'm saying.... it's just blah blah blah.... that's maybe cuz i don't have a boyfriend to give head to while he drives.... anyone interested hehe!
xmas presents... i can't keep on thinking about that... i don't have any money and ive got so many people i love and i want to get presents for everyone.... gosh! hate being this poor and.... hate not having a job!
anyways.... kisses for you sweetie!
in my hometown.... perhaps.... -2 celsius.... don't really know the conversion to farenheit... but all i can say it's pretty cold for me... well... it's maybe cuz i'm not that used to cold weather now... i lived for a year in canada and believe me it was COLD out there... still i loved it!
i've never given head to a guy while driving... is it safe?! hahaha, can u imagine.... if you crash in the middle of the highway... that would be an ugly dead to the gal don't u think!?
ok... don't listen to what i'm saying.... it's just blah blah blah.... that's maybe cuz i don't have a boyfriend to give head to while he drives.... anyone interested hehe!
xmas presents... i can't keep on thinking about that... i don't have any money and ive got so many people i love and i want to get presents for everyone.... gosh! hate being this poor and.... hate not having a job!
anyways.... kisses for you sweetie!
Well yesterday I actually did some work at work! ZOMG My biggest problem with my job is that I work too fast and get things done before there's more to do. I have to depend on my boss to give me work to do 
and he's as lazy as me...if not more. The way things work is he's an engineer and I'm his Drafter/Designer....which means...
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and he's as lazy as me...if not more. The way things work is he's an engineer and I'm his Drafter/Designer....which means... Read More
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emiloo2:
Man I'd be happy as fuck making $13 an hour.
explosiveorchid:
Mexico city, as messy and chaotic as usual..... pretty cold lately...
I want a chamaleon they're sooooo cool... i have a dog though and i love her!
lots of kisses for you and have a great week!
I want a chamaleon they're sooooo cool... i have a dog though and i love her!
lots of kisses for you and have a great week!
It's early yet...just got to work.....by the way I do most of everything I do on the internet at work. Mostly because I can't play video games at work, so once I go home that's what I'm doing if my girl's not around.
Regardless my cold is almost completely gone and I got everyone around me sick...even my boss. Was I really supposed to call...
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Regardless my cold is almost completely gone and I got everyone around me sick...even my boss. Was I really supposed to call...
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explosiveorchid:
hey there... thanx for adding me as your friend....
love and kisses from mexico!
love and kisses from mexico!
trilobitten:
there is no spell check. but if you had the latest version of firefox then it wouldn't be an issue because it seems firefox has it. it underlines stuff in red just like word. this confused the hell out of me at first because i didn't know it did that and i thought sg finally got spell check. then i realized the red lines were everywhere!
you could try going to the no friends group to make some friends. i think people are all around much more commenty on here than myspace. but then, on here you already know that you have at least one thing in common with everybody else. i think that makes it at least a little bit easier to talk to people.
you could try going to the no friends group to make some friends. i think people are all around much more commenty on here than myspace. but then, on here you already know that you have at least one thing in common with everybody else. i think that makes it at least a little bit easier to talk to people.
Shopping for bags for my Girl.....she really likes messenger bags so I've looked around and picked out a few.
here they are.
http://www.fossil.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=35963&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=2566&iSubCat=2567&iProductID=35963&selectedcolor=1396
http://www.fossil.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=35966&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=2566&iSubCat=2567&iProductID=35966&selectedcolor=1396
http://www.fossil.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=35967&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=2566&iSubCat=2567&iProductID=35967&selectedcolor=1556
http://www.fossil.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=33720&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=1033&iSubCat=2549&iProductID=33720&selectedcolor=1813
So any opinions about any of those bags would be appreciated.
here they are.
http://www.fossil.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=35963&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=2566&iSubCat=2567&iProductID=35963&selectedcolor=1396
http://www.fossil.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=35966&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=2566&iSubCat=2567&iProductID=35966&selectedcolor=1396
http://www.fossil.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=35967&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=2566&iSubCat=2567&iProductID=35967&selectedcolor=1556
http://www.fossil.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=33720&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=1033&iSubCat=2549&iProductID=33720&selectedcolor=1813
So any opinions about any of those bags would be appreciated.
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alleycake:
That's a valid question, my only drugs are nicotine, caffeine, alcohol and pot. So I don't think that's the issue. I do feel like it's mostly psychological, I will eventually see a therapist about all my repressed stuff lol. I have been eating very little lately, that could have something to do with getting light headed. You're a good pretend doctor, thanks for the advice.
P.s. You should post a pic of yourself.
P.s.s. You should respond to people's posts in their journals and not yours.
P.s. You should post a pic of yourself.
P.s.s. You should respond to people's posts in their journals and not yours.
trilobitten:
hello new friend. just thought i'd swing by your profile and say a quick hello. i see you're getting an early start on your christmas shopping. what a nice boyfriend. can't say i have much to offer on the bag front, but i'll be sure to stop back when you're picking out vibrators. 
I'm still sick....It's moved from my throat to me nose to my ears...
Everyone says I should go to the Doctor, but I just don't have the time.
Not until Friday I guess.
Regardless I seem to be coming into my full Nerdome...it's like I went through nerd puberty or something because now I have these cravings to learn how to play D&D!
OMG what...
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Everyone says I should go to the Doctor, but I just don't have the time.
Not until Friday I guess.
Regardless I seem to be coming into my full Nerdome...it's like I went through nerd puberty or something because now I have these cravings to learn how to play D&D!
OMG what...
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Am sick....have been sick for 4 days now
First I had drainage into the back of my throat
Now I have a stuffy nose and I'm tired
Hopefully I'll be better in a day or two
Maybe this means I won't be sick for Christmas for once. I seem to have been sick every Christmas since I can remember. Although I only get sick maybe...
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First I had drainage into the back of my throat
Now I have a stuffy nose and I'm tired
Hopefully I'll be better in a day or two
Maybe this means I won't be sick for Christmas for once. I seem to have been sick every Christmas since I can remember. Although I only get sick maybe...
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So I've been thinking for months about what to get my girlfriend for christmas. After all that time I figured something out that I think she will absolutely love.
First some background about her....She loves sex (with me atleast) and she loves Messenger Bags and Camera Bags.
My big plan is this-
1. Get her a nice leather messenger bag (fossil has some nice...
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First some background about her....She loves sex (with me atleast
) and she loves Messenger Bags and Camera Bags.
My big plan is this-
1. Get her a nice leather messenger bag (fossil has some nice...
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alleycake:
I think that's a great plan I'd love it.
pixieduzt:
A good vibrator? Try a hatachi magic wand. I battery....well, wall socket.... tested one at work the other day and WOAH! Now i want one! Also, there is a Tera Patrick line of vibrators by east coast news or something and the Turbo kind are GREAT! Amazing bullets. If you want something she can insert try a rabbit. The Doc Johnson I-Vibe rabbit is the gold standard when it comes to rabbits. if ya have any questions just IM me. later
I'm really sorry for your loss, I have not been on your friends list long enough to know who Nick was, I have had a lot of friends pass away.
I'm glad you are physically healthy.
I always use my journal to write about how I'm feeling.
Finding something out like that at work would have to be really tuff.
Me and my best friend lost touch for a while, he got married and had kids and I went to college and kind of stop trying to get up with him, about 2 years ago he shot himself, he had a wife, 2 kids and one on the way. I feel so bad because what if I had been there for him more, what if I could have saved him.
..
I'm glad you have a great girl to spend your time with.
I hope your dog is going to be ok.
I didn't get to go to my friends funeral ether, I was in NY state when it happened and no one wanted to tell me until I got back, it was a month after it happened before I found out, I have not talked to anyone in his family since way before he took his life and I do not know where they put his body. I feel so bad, but I couldn't bring myself to call his family.