New post for a new day.
I'll start with the events of last evening.
I spent a lot of time on the back porch either talking to my girlfriend on the phone or watching the birds fly around the bird feeder. That was very relaxing.
I also spent a little time meditating and doing some basic exercises. It felt good to know that my increased heart rate was from something other than stress.
Towards the end of the night I took a bath and read a chapter of a book (Pigeons: The Fascinating Saga of the World's Most Revered and Reviled Bird). It's interesting and fun.
Well after I spent all that time relaxing something happened to take it all away. There was a car accident right outside of my house (granted I live 50 feet from the road, so it wasn't "right" right outside). A stranger knocked on my door and asked me to call 911. I did so and was then bombarded with questions I didn't know the answers to. I had to work my way to the accident to ask the others that were trying to help. The whole time my heart was racing and I was pacing back in forth. Needless to say my relaxation of the evening was thrown right out the window. Well an ambulance, fire truck, and cop car later I was able to go back inside (she was hysterical but fine...one person accident). I proceded to talk to my girlfriend on the phone to calm me down.
I went to bed feeling very anxious last night, and woke up feeling the same way.
After I got myself out of bed and into the shower I started to relax and feel good.
I came to work and was feeling bad about being here because of how quiet and boring it is, so I tried to find a internet radio station. Ahhh the stupid IT blocked my webpage, so I had to find a new one. I discovered www.pandora.com which is actually really nice. Well that helped me keep myself seperate from the terrible working environment and I move towards feeling more relaxed.
Then I started thinking about how I kind of shun myself from social situations. At 9:30 when John finally showed up to work (I come in at 7:30) I forced myself to talk to him and listen to his stories (he's like 70 something). Although sometimes his talking makes me feel uncomfortable, it made me feel good to be talking to someone.
Afterwards I started messaging and e-mailing people to get back in touch with those I've lost touch with. I mean I love my girlfriend very much, but I need more people to interact with than just her. I think my social problems are a major stressor on my life and I need to work my way through it.
So I'm feeling a lot more awake than I was yesterday at this time, and I'm not feeling terrible either. I'm feeling kind of good actually, but still hesitant. I think I'm going to go for a small walk to for lunch today (considering I can eat and work at anytime of the day).
Well anyways if I have anymore to say I'll say it sometime. Thanks for reading
.
I'll start with the events of last evening.
I spent a lot of time on the back porch either talking to my girlfriend on the phone or watching the birds fly around the bird feeder. That was very relaxing.
I also spent a little time meditating and doing some basic exercises. It felt good to know that my increased heart rate was from something other than stress.
Towards the end of the night I took a bath and read a chapter of a book (Pigeons: The Fascinating Saga of the World's Most Revered and Reviled Bird). It's interesting and fun.
Well after I spent all that time relaxing something happened to take it all away. There was a car accident right outside of my house (granted I live 50 feet from the road, so it wasn't "right" right outside). A stranger knocked on my door and asked me to call 911. I did so and was then bombarded with questions I didn't know the answers to. I had to work my way to the accident to ask the others that were trying to help. The whole time my heart was racing and I was pacing back in forth. Needless to say my relaxation of the evening was thrown right out the window. Well an ambulance, fire truck, and cop car later I was able to go back inside (she was hysterical but fine...one person accident). I proceded to talk to my girlfriend on the phone to calm me down.
I went to bed feeling very anxious last night, and woke up feeling the same way.
After I got myself out of bed and into the shower I started to relax and feel good.
I came to work and was feeling bad about being here because of how quiet and boring it is, so I tried to find a internet radio station. Ahhh the stupid IT blocked my webpage, so I had to find a new one. I discovered www.pandora.com which is actually really nice. Well that helped me keep myself seperate from the terrible working environment and I move towards feeling more relaxed.
Then I started thinking about how I kind of shun myself from social situations. At 9:30 when John finally showed up to work (I come in at 7:30) I forced myself to talk to him and listen to his stories (he's like 70 something). Although sometimes his talking makes me feel uncomfortable, it made me feel good to be talking to someone.
Afterwards I started messaging and e-mailing people to get back in touch with those I've lost touch with. I mean I love my girlfriend very much, but I need more people to interact with than just her. I think my social problems are a major stressor on my life and I need to work my way through it.
So I'm feeling a lot more awake than I was yesterday at this time, and I'm not feeling terrible either. I'm feeling kind of good actually, but still hesitant. I think I'm going to go for a small walk to for lunch today (considering I can eat and work at anytime of the day).
Well anyways if I have anymore to say I'll say it sometime. Thanks for reading
.
it looks you're steering yourself in the right direction. good for you.