Last night I decided to stay at Kelley's house for the first time since we've been dating (almost 2 years now). She stays with me all the time, but never the other way around. It felt good. I was comfortable but at the same time in a new environment. She does however have a tiny bed, but I still slept fine (other than having to wake up at 5:30 to go home and get ready for work).
I think doing that really helped me out. Being with someone I love and seeing what it's like to be happy again. I woke up this morning feeling slightly anxious, but at the same time ready to face the day.
Earlier today I addressed the issue with my dog by telling my parents about it. She has a new growth on her leg. She's had several others, but the vet says they're just fatty deposits. Since I was worried about her, instead of keeping it inside, I told my mom. That helped me get something off my chest that I shouldn't dwell on.
Most of the day today I've felt a bit of anxiety coming up here and there, but nothing severe like it has been. The most extreme it got today was me being slightly panicked and flustered, which is still very manageable for me.
I exchanged messages with Kathy (Nick's mom for those that don't know) today. I feel better having talked to her and she helped me out. If it's this tough for me I can't imagine how tough it is for her. Just thinking about it makes me sad, but I'm more able to talk about everything now.
I wasn't able to go to Nick's funeral, wake, or memorial, but I was thinking about having a type of memorial of my own with a few people. I'm not really sure when though. It would most likely involve video games (maybe a LAN), drinking, and talking about Nick.
I still haven't actually talked talked about Nick to anyone in person, and I feel that I should.
I'm working on breaking my habbit of constantly checking my heart rate. I know I'm not the healthiest in the cardio region, but I also know there's nothing wrong with me either.
Well I've lost a lot of time from my work day now lol. I better get back to it.
I think doing that really helped me out. Being with someone I love and seeing what it's like to be happy again. I woke up this morning feeling slightly anxious, but at the same time ready to face the day.
Earlier today I addressed the issue with my dog by telling my parents about it. She has a new growth on her leg. She's had several others, but the vet says they're just fatty deposits. Since I was worried about her, instead of keeping it inside, I told my mom. That helped me get something off my chest that I shouldn't dwell on.
Most of the day today I've felt a bit of anxiety coming up here and there, but nothing severe like it has been. The most extreme it got today was me being slightly panicked and flustered, which is still very manageable for me.
I exchanged messages with Kathy (Nick's mom for those that don't know) today. I feel better having talked to her and she helped me out. If it's this tough for me I can't imagine how tough it is for her. Just thinking about it makes me sad, but I'm more able to talk about everything now.
I wasn't able to go to Nick's funeral, wake, or memorial, but I was thinking about having a type of memorial of my own with a few people. I'm not really sure when though. It would most likely involve video games (maybe a LAN), drinking, and talking about Nick.
I still haven't actually talked talked about Nick to anyone in person, and I feel that I should.
I'm working on breaking my habbit of constantly checking my heart rate. I know I'm not the healthiest in the cardio region, but I also know there's nothing wrong with me either.
Well I've lost a lot of time from my work day now lol. I better get back to it.
I'm really sorry for your loss, I have not been on your friends list long enough to know who Nick was, I have had a lot of friends pass away.
I'm glad you are physically healthy.
I always use my journal to write about how I'm feeling.
Finding something out like that at work would have to be really tuff.
Me and my best friend lost touch for a while, he got married and had kids and I went to college and kind of stop trying to get up with him, about 2 years ago he shot himself, he had a wife, 2 kids and one on the way. I feel so bad because what if I had been there for him more, what if I could have saved him.
..
I'm glad you have a great girl to spend your time with.
I hope your dog is going to be ok.
I didn't get to go to my friends funeral ether, I was in NY state when it happened and no one wanted to tell me until I got back, it was a month after it happened before I found out, I have not talked to anyone in his family since way before he took his life and I do not know where they put his body. I feel so bad, but I couldn't bring myself to call his family.