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This was in a serious e-mail from work.

Safety tip of the day: Always wear protective eye care when walking in the woods.
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nikonphoto80:
LOL that just rocks.
nikonphoto80:
how goes it?
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The internet should be taken away from me. It has too much information on it about things I would feel so much better about if I didn't know about them.

This morning I had practically convinced myself that I had a blood clot in my leg frown. I'm a crazy SOB. I woke up this morning and was feeling great, after celebrating my birthday last...
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nikonphoto80:
The brain is a powerful thing, it can give you all kinds of symptom that you do not really have.

I hope your leg is going to be ok. smile
lizardam:
Thank you! smile
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Well my mini vacation went well. I took some time to relax and think. I feel good...aside from having a cold now.

I've been bored at work, but it only bothers me because I feel like I'm losing job security.

My dad thinks I'm crowding my girlfriend, but she claims that she loves having me around almost all the time. Which one is right?

Oh...
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nikonphoto80:
I would love to have a job like yours, I hate my job so much.

She may just be saying that to make you not feel bad and she may be telling the truth, but I would say you should give her a little space and let her have some time to herself and to have some fun with her friends, I think it will make things better in the long run. But I may not be the best person to ask that.
nikonphoto80:
happy birthday, i hope you have a great day.
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I'm taking today pretty slowly.

This morning was fine, but I felt very reluctant to go to work. I knew I would be out of things to do early on, and I ran out of things to do at around 9:30. I have 4 more hours of being bored.

I'm going to go outside for lunch today, even if it is cold or cloudy. I...
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trilobitten:
it snowed here today. it looked like a november blizzard frown

luckily none of it stuck.

have fun on your mini vacation. maybe once you've gotten all reacquainted with your old high school friends your girlfriend will feel better about hanging out with the group.
nikonphoto80:
i wouldn't even know where to find them at, that is how long it has been since i have seen them.
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Today feels good. Not like those other days.

I spent last night and evening at my girlfriends house. It was so relaxing. We went for a little walk, sat in the grass and played with her cats/ watched birds fly around. I had boneless spare ribs for dinner, and went to bed at 9:30.

Although I didn't sleep the whole night through, even when I...
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nikonphoto80:
I have a factory job and it sucks so bad.

Any amount of meditating can help. I like watching birds.

How do I keep up with them all, well I spend almost ever min I'm at home reading my friends journals and replying to comments, it takes up a lot of time but I feel I really get to know people and make real friends.

..


Sounds like a great day, I wish I had a girlfriend to do that kind of stuff with.

Well it's good that you were relaxed, I don't think I have got in bed at 9 30 in many, many, many years.

I don't remember the last time I ate oatmeal.

What kind of job do you have again?
nikonphoto80:
I didn't really know her ether but I'm still very devastated, it was all I could think about today. I know I probable talked to her once or twice and I know I saw her around. But SG is the most amazing community, and the people that are on it are my family and the SG's are like these amazing, strong, creative, colorful girls and Benni has been on SG for a very long time and when girls like this pass away it cuts a hole in my world and it means that this will be one less amazing girl that I will never have the pleaser of hanging out with. frown frown frown frown frown frown frown frown frown frown
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New post for a new day.

I'll start with the events of last evening.

I spent a lot of time on the back porch either talking to my girlfriend on the phone or watching the birds fly around the bird feeder. That was very relaxing.

I also spent a little time meditating and doing some basic exercises. It felt good to know that my increased...
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joleigh:
Llamas have amazing fur that can be spun into all sorts of yarns wink
trilobitten:
eeek oh man, that' s some craziness to have happen all outside your front door.

it looks you're steering yourself in the right direction. good for you. smile
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I need to start keeping a better daily blog. Instead of coming on here and writting when times are tough.

There's jus so much thats been bothering me that I don't know what's wrong anymore. I know I'm young yet and I shouldn't be thinking about the problems that I've been thinking about, but I can't help myself.

Like earlier today, I was leaning on...
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nikonphoto80:
Stuff like that will happened all the time, the body is a strange thing.

Yes you should put a journal up like ever couple of days.

Well go to a doctor and ask him to do that for you.

If you had my job you would run back to your job and love your job.

I'm in debt to.

No matter what some people just drop dead, if you spend all the time thinking about that it is going to kill you a lot sooner, stress is one of the worst things for the body.


I think meditation is a great idea and I think you should take up some kind of art.

What kind of animals do you have?



You should just put all of your problems in your journals, that is what I do, I never talk to people about my problems, I just put them on SG.

trilobitten:
think less. do more.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)


stop obsessing about your health. you're fine. i've typed too long with wrists leaned on the keyboard and had similar things happen. it's not heart disease. you're not dying. don't panic.

you're only 22. your pulse will still be there even if you don't check it all the time. next time you're tempted, go clean the bathroom. or bake some muffins. anything that will take your mind off it.

i think the exercise is a fantastic idea. it'll be good for both your mental and physical health to get up and moving.

interact with the world.

spend more time with friends. make new friends. reconnect with old friends.

read new books. research a topic that interests you. learn something totally random and tell everyone how awesome it is.

volunteer someplace. sometimes when you get too wrapped up in your troubles, it's good to take a step outside of yourself. plus, the feeling that you're doing something useful is nice.

hope you find something in there the least bit useful. i feel for you, and i'd really like to see you be happier. life's too short.



oink biggrin

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I'm back from my weekend. I had a good time, even though those few days seemed kind of rushed.

I bought a new mattress and it should arrive on Friday! No more rolling to the center of the bed because of the dip. On the downside my tax return is gone now frown.

Firday night I saw Bridge to Teribithia. I was really good, but...
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nikonphoto80:
Well you don't have to have any thing in common to get alone with some one.

Damn that must have been a really old mattress.

What is that movie about?

How long had it been since you seen your friend?

I don't really like to be around many kids.

What ever! I have not had some one sleep in my bed in many years and it never really happened much when it did


trilobitten:
well, luckily i still had clean spoons. tongue

i'm a lightweight too. i'd have been more than tipsy on the same amount of alcohol. whatever

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So between last night and today I've been feeling great (although I've had my anxious times too). I laughed and had a good time last night at dinner, spilt soda all over the table and on my mom. Today I've been stumbling my way through Mechanical Specs that I've no idea what to do with, but I'm still happy and feeling good.

I had a...
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trilobitten:
sharp teeth. very sharp teeth.

dammit, now i keep messing with my teeth.
nikonphoto80:
I'm glad you are feeling great. was your mom mad?

Maybe you should stay away from the coffee for a while.

What is wrong with the old man? do you and him not get along? What kind of music does he like?
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I don't have much time to blog today. Right now I'm waiting for my boss to finished looking over something so I can continue my work, but this guy is talking his ear off, keeping him from doing his work.

This guy is crazy with his stories and talking to himself. He swears at his computer, but he's also like 70.

Today I'm feeling about...
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explosiveorchid:
how are you... it's been a while since i last heard from you....


how's life?

hugs and kisses!
kiss
nikonphoto80:
That is what we do here on SG.

It has been over 2 years, I think it has been way to long for me to call them.

I wish I wasn't shy, but I don't think I will ever get over it.

I don't think they look like a Honda, like one of my friends in England said it looks a lot like the cars in Europe.

Old men are funny.

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Last night I decided to stay at Kelley's house for the first time since we've been dating (almost 2 years now). She stays with me all the time, but never the other way around. It felt good. I was comfortable but at the same time in a new environment. She does however have a tiny bed, but I still slept fine (other than having to...
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nikonphoto80:
i just now read your last journal.

I'm really sorry for your loss, I have not been on your friends list long enough to know who Nick was, I have had a lot of friends pass away.

I'm glad you are physically healthy.

I always use my journal to write about how I'm feeling.

Finding something out like that at work would have to be really tuff.

Me and my best friend lost touch for a while, he got married and had kids and I went to college and kind of stop trying to get up with him, about 2 years ago he shot himself, he had a wife, 2 kids and one on the way. I feel so bad because what if I had been there for him more, what if I could have saved him.

..

I'm glad you have a great girl to spend your time with.

I hope your dog is going to be ok.

I didn't get to go to my friends funeral ether, I was in NY state when it happened and no one wanted to tell me until I got back, it was a month after it happened before I found out, I have not talked to anyone in his family since way before he took his life and I do not know where they put his body. I feel so bad, but I couldn't bring myself to call his family.

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So I haven't been dealing very well with Nick's death. I took it upon myself to repress all the feelings that I have and develop an anxiety/depression problem. I ended up going to the doctor yesterday and getting antidepressants, but I decided not to take them. I've also decided it's time to uncover the repressed feelings I have.

Truth is I'm a mess, so much...
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trilobitten:
wow. i am so sorry.

blackeyed

*hugs*
qwerty:
When my Dad died unexpectedly, I did the same thing but it came out in a different way. You started to worry about everything, I worried about nothing. Which although sounds good, is very dangerous. It's taken me 6 months to see that discounting my Father's death made everything else in my life also completely worthless. Nothing really matters. I recognize that I have a problem now, but how to deal with it is another matter. I like feeling nothing.

But bereavement isn't a straight path, and starting to deal with you feelings is the first step.
kiss