i saw my ex last night for the first time in two years. it wasn't as tragic as i was expecting it to be. our text message exchange after his show and us hanging out (with no body contact other than hugs or high fives, minus one tipsy cuddle moment where i buried my head into his chest because i was dizzy) really sealed that door of my life. before i left, we had sort of a serious conversation, where i told him that i've wised up a lot since the last time he saw me. and this is what followed after i got home.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
him: i wish you were here still. it is nice talking to you.
me: i wish i was there too. i just don't think it would have been practical, or the right time. another time though, of course.
him: you are a classy girl!
me: i try. i mean, it's just a matter of knowing your personal comfort boundaries.
him: i wouldn't do anything to make you feel uncomfortable.
me: i know. i just also feel like since we haven't seen each other in so long, we should be slow about things otherwise we'll fall into old habits. (side editorial note: LIKE HAVING SEX BY GETTING ME TO SPEND THE NGHT IN THE VAN)
him: you might be right.
me: i know i'm right. i think i'm just verbalizing what we're both thinking.
two years ago, i would not have had the balls to stand up for myself like that and say no to a man. i'm very proud of myself. seriously.
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so i think i'm going to post a top 5 of my favorite music i discovered, or rediscovered this year. in no particular order. (honorable mention goes to elvis costello's "this year's model")
5. smashing pumpkins: "mellon collie and the infinite sadness"/"siamese dream"
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
there was a period of time in my life where i was OBSESSED with the pumpkins. i mean, i've always had a special connection with them, as the first time i turned on mtv the "tonight, tonight" video came on and it just fucking captivated me. to this day, it's one of my all time favorite songs that will never get old, and that video is easily one of the best music videos of all time. i wore that album out when i got my hands on it to the point that one day "twilight to starlight" ate itself in my walkman, and the magic was over until years later when i downloaded the album and a few more in full thanks to a wonderful invention called "napster". the next time i was immersed in the pumpkins was when billy wrote his confessions. the most recent time i "rediscovered" the pumpkins was when i met and subsequently spent a few months with
deathrockboy, who is a huge pumpkins nerd, and sort of indirectly influenced me to pull my cds out of my attic and load the full album onto my computer rather than the few songs i had. since then...well, last.fm can testify to how frequently i've been loving this album since then.
4. black rebel motorcycle club: "howl"/"brmc"/"baby 81"
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
believe it or not, my shit brazillian ex introduced me to this band. and you know what? it's the only good thing i took out of that relationship. these guys are so fucking good, and believe it or not, you've probably heard them already. i've heard them just this year in a mazda commercial, a promo for the christian slater show on nbc, and on true blood. (my new tv obsession) they are a hearkening back to "true" rock n roll, none of that "punk rawk" bullshit that has come out in the last few years. like, you can just imagine them with mussed hair, leather jackets, white tshirts, and point toe boots tucked under their levi's. and to top it off, they can write a damn good country song or two. and i fucking hate country. which brings me to my next discovery.
3. jace everett: "bad things" (single)
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
i fucking hate country. like, most of it is either cutesy honky-tonk (think dolly parton, and her wannabe successor, jessica simpson), or "goddamnit i lost my girl, my dog and my truck, and all i want is a bud". but when i watched "true blood" for the first time this year, it was like "omg, country CAN be good." and then i downloaded the album. and it was what my first two sentences were. i'm sorely dissapointed. HOWEVER the song itself is a 5 karat diamond in the rough. the song almost makes me want to move down to the dirty south and live in a little po'dunk town, much like bon temps in true blood. in the meantime, i can strip down to my skivvies in my bedroom and have a dirty little hoedown with this song on full blast.
2. rivers cuomo: "alone"
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
weezer is almost always either in my top 1 or close to it when i list off my favorite bands of all time. there is an unreleased collective of songs almost every weezer freak knows called "songs from the black hole". my main reason in purchasing this album early, early this year was to have the definitive recordings on all the demos i had over the years. besides sftbh, i also had demos of "i was made for you" and "longtime sunshine", and i was so happy to have them cleaned up and at a better audio quality than a 10 year old cassette copy transferred onto a cd and burned to someone's harddrive. it was sort of a christmas gift for weezer nerds. thanks rivers, you're a little bit less of a dick in my eyes now. pinkerton was still your best album ever though.
AND NUMBA ONE (which might be a little bit of a shock.)
1. britney spears: "circus"
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
i don't even need to say anything. if you can go from looking like this 5150 hot mess in january (dubbed "hostage brituation"):
to looking this FIERCE in november/december (dubbed "britmas" due to the influx of positive britney offerings):
AND your album is fucking amazing, a nice mix of mainstream dance and oldschool, nostalgic pop. you're fucking number one bitch. </inner gay>
and there you have it.
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just a fucking closing thought for my nyc brethren:
if the motherfucking MTA is going to hike the fares so i have to dig for spare change in my purse to purchase a single ride, then they better fucking upgrade the motherfucking trains so they're more like the metro in DC. starting with the A, C, E line, because that shit gets the least amount of love and the one i ride the most often. come on, even the JMZ got train upgrades! i took that shit from hewes the other day and it was new, like the L!
next thing you know, the g is going to be on time and run straight through from park slope to forest hills.
