Have you ever had the experience where you really wanted something and were never able to get it, and then had some realization that it was pointless to want it in the first place because the real reasons for not getting it weren't being dealt with (not that you could clearly identify what they were at the time)... it sucks to feel stuck, especially when it feels like you've been stuck forever, isolated even 
I sometimes want to stab myself in the eyes but then that would probabaly be a worse situation to be in.