Wow.. rough day....
So today I tried to warm up with my team.
It was soccer day so I thought..
"If I stand in the goal and don't run and just kick the ball and move when people come at me .. I'll be fine"
Well.. te athletic trainer did not agree with my assessment.
He was SOOO mad started yelling and cussing and dropping F' bombs
Which in turn made me start crying..
Because to be honest.. I am big and tough.. but I hate when people yell
and it terribly disturbs me when they yell AND cuss.. I can't handle it.
Maybe it's a flashback of my father being a lunatic..
I don't know.
Fortunetly my coaches weren't angry; they understood my thought process and were supportive; but they reiterated that the trainer is in charge for now.
It really disturbed me. If for no other reason then this..
I am 4 1/2 months out of surgery.. in 6 weeks I am supposed to be able to wrestle without restrictions; how am I supposed to feel safe going into that if I'm not even allowed to kick a ball right now.
And at what point to I stop fearing that evey little thing will tear my knee apart.. I'm sick of living in fear of tearing this stupid ligament.
Many people get cleared to compete w/ no restrictions at 4 months.. why am I so different? I do my rehab I bust my ass.. I'm not asking to be fully cleared.. but for the love of god.. can't at least jog or kick the ball.. or something
I'm still pretty shaken over the whole thing.. I hate being screamed and cussed at and the whole thing really rattled me. My nerves are raw...
Taban
So today I tried to warm up with my team.
It was soccer day so I thought..
"If I stand in the goal and don't run and just kick the ball and move when people come at me .. I'll be fine"
Well.. te athletic trainer did not agree with my assessment.
He was SOOO mad started yelling and cussing and dropping F' bombs
Which in turn made me start crying..
Because to be honest.. I am big and tough.. but I hate when people yell
and it terribly disturbs me when they yell AND cuss.. I can't handle it.
Maybe it's a flashback of my father being a lunatic..
I don't know.
Fortunetly my coaches weren't angry; they understood my thought process and were supportive; but they reiterated that the trainer is in charge for now.
It really disturbed me. If for no other reason then this..
I am 4 1/2 months out of surgery.. in 6 weeks I am supposed to be able to wrestle without restrictions; how am I supposed to feel safe going into that if I'm not even allowed to kick a ball right now.
And at what point to I stop fearing that evey little thing will tear my knee apart.. I'm sick of living in fear of tearing this stupid ligament.
Many people get cleared to compete w/ no restrictions at 4 months.. why am I so different? I do my rehab I bust my ass.. I'm not asking to be fully cleared.. but for the love of god.. can't at least jog or kick the ball.. or something
I'm still pretty shaken over the whole thing.. I hate being screamed and cussed at and the whole thing really rattled me. My nerves are raw...
Taban
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Good luck with the healing cute stuff. Save the kicking for the ass when you're totally healed. How's the superawesomguy?