t5idlewillkillt5

well....goodbye



last post

....uh..... tired....

bored.....

suckage for life....



~Current Music~
H.I.M- Sweet Pandemonium

im tired of people treating me like an idiot.

and im never saying how i feel on anything... period.







~Current Music~
Juno Reactor- Jardin de Cecile

well, last night was a little emberassing
i feel like a moron for actually letting my feelings out.

i dont think ill be drinking again for a while. and i think everyone that has to deal with me when im drunk is cool, and will be happy when they hear i wont be making an asshole out of myself.

all i can say is im...
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fuck people.....











~Current Music~
Brand New-
Jude Law and a Semester Abroad

mark this day, as one of the worse days of my life.

...........................................................
things are here, and you're over there
and in between: land, sea, everything
i hope you're warm, and
i hope you think of me,
and the way things used to be.
yesterday, a telegram said
that you had died.
but i knew and i know that it was a lie.
i tried...
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ugh...could this suck anymore?

im rather sick of it all.
without an outlet comming home is more a chore than an escape. and i used to love being home and in my room. HAHAHAHAHAHAH

money sucks especially when youhave 0


tired....sleeeppppp.....maybe

~Current Music~
At the Drive In-Quarantuned

ever feel like screaming






FUCK

so....2004 is upon us.
so far this year is going to be good. i feel it. hopefully im not setting my self up for a let down, but for some reason i feel good aboot it

muah ha ha

went to 80's night last night with some o y favorite peeps.
it was ok... parts sucked and other parts were fun. and i FINALLY got...
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well, today is the last day im 20, and the last day in 2003
THANK JESUS CHRIST IN HEAVEN!

this i have to say, has been probably the worst year of my life...

ok, well maybe there were a few good things.....


VERY FEW!
im excited to watch this year go down the shitter,
even years are usually good for me*knocks on wood*
so i...
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*sigh wow....its christmas eve
another day of fakeing it with the family.

"oh yea you look wonderful"

"Oh My God! i just love this sweater, thanks grandma"

"Of course i belive Jesus died for my sins"

"and yes i belive in god"


i just hope they dont ask me to prey again, that really got everyone all pissed off when i refused. heh.

so yet...
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Things can be a lot worse than they are. everyone goes through theyre own struggles yet when compared to someone else's they have experienced life at its worst moment. worse than any other because these experiences are theyre own. its all they own.

im thinking im in love with death because it makes me realise i am alive.
without pain and suffereing there would be...
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