szasry

This is an excerpt from my private journal. I like this bit, so I feel happy to share it here.


Having control over the world is an illusion. No one is anything more than a set of influences. Do you want love or do you want to win? Do you want *more* to win or to love?

I want to grow into a beautiful, powerful, kind and loving person. I want to be a master communicator and channeler of energy. To do this, I must shed every security blanket. Go out into the wild, find love and wonder. Live like a renaissance man. Free yourself of both your addictions and your compulsions. Do not obsess. Move with conviction and purpose. Your big decisions have worked out because you have made them in this way.

Remember you are the student. You will fail, as you have before. Feel no shame. Learn.

These addictions, habits, are holding me back. Don't be afraid to share. But what if there is no one to receive my gifts? What if they don't want them? I feel hurt when I am alone, as if I am unwanted.

So does everyone else.

Create self-worth. Do something you respect. Do NOT turn to security blankets. When you fail, and you will, get back up and keep practicing. Find out why you failed.

I took it for granted that satisfying an urge would make me happy. People are not a series of needs bars, decaying over time. I must bring myself to a happier place. Healthy fun does more than satisfy --it nourishes.