synninviemaa

Fuck. Cybernations is down. *sigh*

I made some decisions last night. One in particular being one of the hardest I've ever had to face. I thought it would be for the best, and that it would be easier than the situation at hand... but I find that I've been in more pain and tears for the past 24 hours than I've experienced since it all began. I feel completely exposed, vulnerable. Stripped of my "I don't fucking care" exterior, and let me tell you, it does not feel nice. And this time, I can't even paint on a new face and pretend I'll be fine, because I know nothing will ever... be... fine.

Scissor Sisters - "Mary."

Amazing tune, and it's been helping me alot today. Forcing out emotion, but also putting me slightly at ease.

My good friend Daryll (who lives too far away in my opinion) was kind enough to lend an ear, and listen to me weep, pitifully, for hours upon hours VERY early this morning. And I'll never be able to thank him enough for making sure I wasn't alone.

Secondhand Serenade - "It's Not Over."

Lyrically explains everything. And hearing it is just... man, it fucking kills.

...shaking from the pain that's in my head;
I just want to crawl into my bed,
and throw away the life I've led.

Really... right now... I just need some love. Even a friend.