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synfull

Lost among The Great White Flight

Member Since 2004

Followers 10 Following 33

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Friday Oct 28, 2005

Oct 28, 2005
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on my brains time machine, life, love and the warm glove,
and death by the knife and other means

life is so fragile
the mind is designed for time travel
I used to fear how easy it would be for someone to just slit my throat
with a knife
now I wish for the future gift
of dying in bed with my wife in the love of my own home

I see the glove of warmth in the dark
I see the spark of energy that is the me that was
and I can honestly say i feel free because
one day I will be released back to this

the act the words and body person play is stage
for the brain waves
and the heart beats
I see the then and what will be
and the now simply floods the blood of the optic nerves
as I swerve from everything concrete
give the esoteric merit
but afraid of : plant seed, grow tree

I feel diseased
and project this onto all I touch and have touched
this doesnt leave much
remove these filters from my lenses
I built my time machine to explore horizons
but its finishing all my sentences

bend a thought to brush by memory rot
all this not today
it leaves tomorrow shot
see the jackpot lever, pull it
find the right bullet word for gun mouth, load it
exploding stars
in these bars, I never talk to anyone

the setting sun comes too quick
or when I just watch TV
the day is long
what song I trust
puts the mood disorder at rest
and the best I can do is
shuffle my feet along to the beat
time machine dreams
exist now, then or forever
and some form of I will never cease
I fear nothing but love
and the warm dark glove
not release I seek but peace
and the earth shall one day
inherit the meek

and Im not bleak
just tongue-in-cheek
and living/dying as I speak
tonight I sleep
steeped in think
my best rest
occurs today between each blink

forever traveling time
unraveling mind and world of mine
Ill keep this past-present-future compass bind
because I know theres more to find
life is so fragile
no matter how or when I go
may death be the time machine that frees my soul


VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
candycox:
I love this one you wrote. Wonderful.

How you been doing? Anything crazy for Halloween? I'm dressing up as a Dominatrix Devil. hah. Use your imagination with that one. I'll probably post pictures of my costume later.

I have a date tonight with someone I'm not too excited to see... but he sent me flowers and chocolates at work, and that was too damn sweet for me to say no. I'm just not sure we click (we've hung out once before). I actually like someone else, but he only sees me as a fuck buddy (this is a guy I work with at Rite Aid - yes, I fucking work at Rite Aid now). I'm depressed about it. So depressed that I started cutting again. frown

Anyways, I hope you're doing a lot better than me right now.

xoxo
Oct 30, 2005
kulmagrrl:
Thanks for calling me on my errors in thinking. In my refusal to go back to therapy right now, I need someone like you keeping me in check. Now: can you move here and follow me around 24/7? And do you accept my insurance? wink

I love you internal rhymes, BTW. I can hear it being spoken without even trying.
Nov 1, 2005

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