The doctor never tells you anything good. It's either 'you're fine, you fucking hypochondriac' or 'yeah there's this really horrible thing wrong with you, we'll have to amputate'... same shit, different day. But if it's not an infection, what the fuck is it? Shall voodoo be my next step? As pleasant as shoving tubes up my nose sounds... will it do any good? Is there a demon in my ear canal? Am I cursed? Oh great ear gods... why have you forsaken me? Was that roast last Sunday really that bad? There was plently of gravy, to suit everyone's taste... oh hell, there's never any pleasing you guys.. I don't even know why I bother.
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THE EAR CANAL GODS HAVE SPOKEN!