so it's been a year now since my last photoshoot and I would like to tell you why I've stopped. There are so many reasons why I have made this decision and I'll tell you all about them, but in a whole grand scheme of things it all boils down to one problem..
BODY CONFIDENCE
Something I've lost which absolutely sucks.
The main hit to my body confidence was at the beginning of this year I had a mole extraction on my left boob (you can see the mole in the photo below shot by @coolicio ) but it grew and was potentially cancerous so it had to go.
Side note: I had absolutely no issue with it at all, if anything I loved it. It was unique to me and became a part of me.
So after the surgery the healing process was difficult and I'm now left with a huge scar more than double of the size of the mole. It's really taking its toll on my confidence, and I'm so self-conscious of it everyday. A month after that ordeal I caught chicken pox - which was 4 weeks of AGONY, and the only scar I got from those pox spots is (yep, you guessed it) on my left boob right next to my surgery scar.
now many of you reading that are thinking "scars are beautiful" "you can still edit them out after the shoot" which are both true statements! I'm still learning to see my new editions as beautiful but tbh I'll probably get them tatooed over. I remember speaking to @gemmaedwardsuk about the scars and if it's possible to edit them out, she said it's definitely doable. However I know my self-consciousness will come through in the photos even after they're edited out, so to me they'll still be there after the edit.
Since then I've also gained more than 1stone (8kg to the metric folk) in weight, which is not helping the situation.
But it's not all doom and gloom! I've really re-started Ballet after an 8 year hiatus, to really get the weight loss going and tone up all the flabby bits.
And it's not the last of me either, I have a set shot by @cersei coming out to member review in 2 weeks
and another set to be submitted by @autumnsky
anyway, lesson of this blog is, you're all beautiful, and it's not goodbye, it's a see you later x
@missy @rambo @lyxzen @salliss @vaughn @sophoulla @anyanka @lilymai @felis @reuben @sophiestonem
