sybil

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
i saw eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
finally. i'm in love with michel gondry, that sexy large nosed director.
some of his music videos i enjoy:
army of me - bjork
bachelorette - bjork
everlong - foo fighters
around the world - daft punk
star guitar - chemincal brothers
white stripes videos (even though i hate the band)

and that bounce diet coke commerical with scrumdiddilyumptious adrien brody
(who, by the way, i was all about way before the piano, just so you know)
anyway, back on topic, so i saw spotless mind, and it was amazing. it's one of those movies that shows a love you wish you had, all quirky and amazing, but that just won't happen. i'm pretty cynical about 'love' ie chemical reaction that fucks you over, takes up all your time, and sucks the life out of you. alright, cynical maybe putting it lightly.
i've been watching this a&e special about computer generated sex, and scientificly produced chemicals that make you feel like you're in love. it's kind of sad and disgusting the money and time people will waste to feel even just fake emotions. you don't hear about those fucks trying to find the sadness potion.
see i'd love to be with someone, have someone but i don't want to do what i normally do, which is invest so much of my time and effort, and it's all for nada. i don't want to be distracted from school and art anyway... but it'd be nice, like having a tv, just hitting a remote, they're there, and ta-da, and it's nice, and then, oh i have a paper to do, zap, they're gone. anywho, fuck xmas too, xmas spirit was definately made up by hallmark and walmart. i think new years is more important, out with the old, in with the new, resolutions none of us will keep but let's pretend we'll be better next year anyway, and booze. yeah, new years... last year new years was my first kiss with such n such, and so that makes me all lame and sad and distraught. see, love thing = lame, count me out.