WHY DO YOU HATE YOURSELF?
It's the question we all must confront sometime in our lives, because more likely than not, you're as guilty as I am. We are surrounded by ourselves constantly, and witness to every minuscule error that we've ever made, every thought in bad taste, every bad hair day and bad pimple day and bad fat day and, well, just every bad day period. And no matter how hard you try to run away, and how far, you just can't deny that person looking back at you in the mirror. That person is you, and chances are you've done some disgusting things in your life that you can never forgive yourself for. Screwed over some people who never deserved it. I'm sure at some points in your life you can act like a real monster, and no amount of crying afterwards will prevent you from acting that way again. I bet you've said some real stupid things in conversation that you immediately regret, and hope that everybody else forgets real soon. I'm sure you've done some really stupid things, and made some really dumb decisions that sometimes you pretend like you wouldn't take back if you had the chance, even though deep down inside you know you would. You probably lie to yourself, only to lay the truth on real thick and juicy later as you try to fall asleep at night. You hope that it's all in your head, that nobody else has noticed all your bright glowing flaws, but you have the feeling people have been avoiding you, and you avoid them. For awhile, until the need for a chance to redeem yourself becomes so great that you just do it all over again. And you just hate yourself twice as much. How many times have you looked over at a beautiful person, and bashfully run your fingers through your plain hair, over your acne, along your stomach, your nose, anything, anything that's keeping you from being as beautiful as they are? Do you cover yourself up, because you like people's imagination more than what you have? But you know that that's not why they don't like you. You could be gorgeous...but it wouldn't stop you from being dumb. Or a bitch. Or a pushover. Or a tease. No, you're you, and that just sucks. Nothing you can do about it, and the more you think about it, the more you realize what you hate about yourself. Are you an annoying drunk? Or a chronic liar? Are you so busy doing things for everyone else that you don't even know why you do anything anymore? Or are you really selfish?
Yea, me too. These feelings are normal, because none of us are perfect. We are all inevitably flawed in more ways than we can even begin to comprehend and handle half the time. I wish there was something I could do about this problem, because it eats away at some of the most amazing and beautiful people that I've ever met. We all want to be loved, God knows I do. And you do too. But REMEMBER: Hating yourself isn't going to make other people like you more, trust me. It's not going to make you a better person, and it's not going to solve all your problems. Hating yourself is the biggest problem you have. Everybody has their own problems, just like you, and do you hate everybody else for them? Forgive yourself. Just fucking do it. You know you need to, and you know you deserve to be forgiven. And not by somebody else, but yourself. Peace and love, I feel better already.
It's the question we all must confront sometime in our lives, because more likely than not, you're as guilty as I am. We are surrounded by ourselves constantly, and witness to every minuscule error that we've ever made, every thought in bad taste, every bad hair day and bad pimple day and bad fat day and, well, just every bad day period. And no matter how hard you try to run away, and how far, you just can't deny that person looking back at you in the mirror. That person is you, and chances are you've done some disgusting things in your life that you can never forgive yourself for. Screwed over some people who never deserved it. I'm sure at some points in your life you can act like a real monster, and no amount of crying afterwards will prevent you from acting that way again. I bet you've said some real stupid things in conversation that you immediately regret, and hope that everybody else forgets real soon. I'm sure you've done some really stupid things, and made some really dumb decisions that sometimes you pretend like you wouldn't take back if you had the chance, even though deep down inside you know you would. You probably lie to yourself, only to lay the truth on real thick and juicy later as you try to fall asleep at night. You hope that it's all in your head, that nobody else has noticed all your bright glowing flaws, but you have the feeling people have been avoiding you, and you avoid them. For awhile, until the need for a chance to redeem yourself becomes so great that you just do it all over again. And you just hate yourself twice as much. How many times have you looked over at a beautiful person, and bashfully run your fingers through your plain hair, over your acne, along your stomach, your nose, anything, anything that's keeping you from being as beautiful as they are? Do you cover yourself up, because you like people's imagination more than what you have? But you know that that's not why they don't like you. You could be gorgeous...but it wouldn't stop you from being dumb. Or a bitch. Or a pushover. Or a tease. No, you're you, and that just sucks. Nothing you can do about it, and the more you think about it, the more you realize what you hate about yourself. Are you an annoying drunk? Or a chronic liar? Are you so busy doing things for everyone else that you don't even know why you do anything anymore? Or are you really selfish?
Yea, me too. These feelings are normal, because none of us are perfect. We are all inevitably flawed in more ways than we can even begin to comprehend and handle half the time. I wish there was something I could do about this problem, because it eats away at some of the most amazing and beautiful people that I've ever met. We all want to be loved, God knows I do. And you do too. But REMEMBER: Hating yourself isn't going to make other people like you more, trust me. It's not going to make you a better person, and it's not going to solve all your problems. Hating yourself is the biggest problem you have. Everybody has their own problems, just like you, and do you hate everybody else for them? Forgive yourself. Just fucking do it. You know you need to, and you know you deserve to be forgiven. And not by somebody else, but yourself. Peace and love, I feel better already.
swill:
I love the word "esteemers" you used in your earlier post! I think you've got the right attitude - it's ok to just tolerate yourself sometimes.