swimforbrighter

well things seem to be getting better but there have been really traumatizing. just really bad flash back dreams of when i was first waking up from acoma and things that happened i the following months. even though i dont know if theyre dreams as much as night terrors. like waking up in the night hyperventilating and screaming. it doesnt help that the friends i have all know my history and think talking about the things will help. i just dont think im ok with talking about it with many people. inkedgeek is my only friend i have really delved into things with. i love him as a great friend and an accepting, loving, wonderful man. and i do mean a real all the way grown up man.

ive made an amazing friend in the woman who will be my step sister. but shes pretty much the sister i always wanted.. someone i can fully be myself with her. ive been spending so much time out of the house that ive been really exhausted this weekend. i wanted to go out with my friends but i wanted to stay here and get a full nights sleep :-p


the apt hunting continues but im on the waiting list at a few places and ive decided one of two apts but the first i can get into. im REALLY looking forward to being near all my friends instead of out here in the beautiful yet boring country! thanks for your support guys. i love all of you.