I think I figured why I fell so down lately. The current exam is the beginning of the end of my studying years. Ive been at the university since 1997, thats six long years with lots of hard times but also some wonderful experiences. Its been here where I first felt accepted by mostly everyone and I wasnt picked on like in high-school. I even made some wonderful friends; some of them Ill probably never see again after this month is over. I feel so melancholic.
Besides, theres this girl I had a crush on since anatomy-class (4 years ago). I never said a word to her about it as she seem to be in a happy long-term relationship. After about 2 years of self-torture (I saw her virtually every day) I began to avoid her presence. I nearly got rid off my feelings for her when she spent a year in France and we didnt see each other for the whole time. I really thought I was over her
Now shes back, taking the same exam as I do. Shes still the same sweet, intelligent and gorgeous woman I fell in love with. And as always shes treating me so nicely and really taking interest in what I have to say. I knew she broke up with her boyfriend when she went to France. So, stupid as I am, I allowed my buried love for her to rise from the grave I buried it in.
Yesterday I went out with her and some other guys to celebrate their exams (they all passed quite easily, I still have to worry until the 15th). I really hoped for a chance to tell her how much I care for her. But instead I got introduced to some really ugly Mr. Know-it-all-better who is her new boyfriend! Theyre together for nearly two years now and no one knew!
Why is it that she doesnt make her relationships a little more obvious? She never speaks a word about him. She doesnt let him take her to the exam like everybody else whos in a relationship does. They dont kiss in public nor do they even touch each others hands. Not a single hug the whole evening! They behave like theyre just remote friends, not lovers.
Anybody got an idea about it?
Im just puzzled, sad and not a bit motivated to carry on learning. I just keep struggling from cigarette-break to cigarette-break. Damn the nicotine-addiction! Damn those secretive women! Damn my stupidity! Damn that oh-so-important exam! Damn my life! Damn everything!!!!
Signed by the broken-hearted sad excuse for a man,
swen
Besides, theres this girl I had a crush on since anatomy-class (4 years ago). I never said a word to her about it as she seem to be in a happy long-term relationship. After about 2 years of self-torture (I saw her virtually every day) I began to avoid her presence. I nearly got rid off my feelings for her when she spent a year in France and we didnt see each other for the whole time. I really thought I was over her
Now shes back, taking the same exam as I do. Shes still the same sweet, intelligent and gorgeous woman I fell in love with. And as always shes treating me so nicely and really taking interest in what I have to say. I knew she broke up with her boyfriend when she went to France. So, stupid as I am, I allowed my buried love for her to rise from the grave I buried it in.
Yesterday I went out with her and some other guys to celebrate their exams (they all passed quite easily, I still have to worry until the 15th). I really hoped for a chance to tell her how much I care for her. But instead I got introduced to some really ugly Mr. Know-it-all-better who is her new boyfriend! Theyre together for nearly two years now and no one knew!
Why is it that she doesnt make her relationships a little more obvious? She never speaks a word about him. She doesnt let him take her to the exam like everybody else whos in a relationship does. They dont kiss in public nor do they even touch each others hands. Not a single hug the whole evening! They behave like theyre just remote friends, not lovers.
Anybody got an idea about it?
Im just puzzled, sad and not a bit motivated to carry on learning. I just keep struggling from cigarette-break to cigarette-break. Damn the nicotine-addiction! Damn those secretive women! Damn my stupidity! Damn that oh-so-important exam! Damn my life! Damn everything!!!!
Signed by the broken-hearted sad excuse for a man,
swen
nevilthedogboy:
take the exam and you'll do fine. one way or another, before you finish up school, tell the gal SOMETHING... tell her you've had yer eye on her for the last four years if nothing else, than to get it off yer chest. if she is this intelligent, sweet gal, if nothing else, she'll understand. ask if she'll remain in correspondance with you in some form or another. Or you can have another cigarette, whack off and go to sleep.. that usually works for me. either way you go about it, good luck
nevilthedogboy:
let me know how it goes, man.