swen

Im back from Koblenz. Everything worked out just fine. The rented car was air-conditioned and the trip was a smooth one apart from traffic-jams around Kln. Though I saw some quite good anime (Big O, Scryed, .hack//Sign) I didnt enjoy this years convention as much as the ones before. Im getting too old for this. I never was an otaku but I enjoyed the nerdiness of the scene. Now I find it stupid and embarrassing. Besides, I now have something like a real life to live which is much more interesting than those stupid anime. Theyre always the same. I cant stand any more giant robots with teenagers in the cockpit who have problems at school and just talk about fist kiss. Holy crap! I spent about 200 on this trip and three days of my precious time!

So, Im frustrated. I feel Im getting more and more detached from my friends. We havent been playing RPG for a long time now and I dont know if I even want to do it anymore. I havent been watching anime with them for even longer (besides this weekend) and I dont think I want to change that. I couldnt even take part in most of their conversation as they kept talking about Go (I hate that game), stupid movies and colorizing model-kits. How nerdy are they? How nerdy have I been?


Today I started phase 2 in my heroic attempt to conquer my big exams. After more than 90 days of learning Im now testing how much of it is still in my brain. Im doing test-exams on the computer and at least today I really suck! I would barely pass even though I chose a rather easy set of questions. I just hope I will improve during the next few weeks. Otherwise I wont stand a chance


I hope youre all doing better than me today.

swen
Never trust the northern winds - Never turn your back on friends?

edited to say:
I won't talk to anyone today. I won't comment on journal enrtries. I'm feeling too depressed. I'm sorry. I will catch up with everyone later.