I am sick. From drinking too much. From the disease. From breathing this disgusting air. I've been dirt and I don't care. Hey baby, can you bleed like me?
So last night I went to a party at a friend's place. Pretty small just our little circle of 4 friends, and 2 guests that were visiting from Australia. So we rented Superbad and got trashed. Wait no. I got trashed while everyone watched. It is honestly kind of scary, the amount of liquor I can consume. I don't remember an exact number, but I drank somewhere around 3 glasses of wine, 5 rum and cokes, and a few shots of schnapps before I blacked out. I am a fucking idiot. This whole binge drinking bullshit has to stop. I'm fucking 20 years old, a college graduate, with a good fulltime job. Meaning that I need to grow the fuck up. Easier said than done however. I kicked the drug habit and replaced it with drinking. If/when I stop drinking excessively, what will step in as my new addiction? I'm not worried about going back to drugs. That will never happen. I've had other addictions, unmentionable ones. And it's those ones that I'm worried about. We all have our battles. I guess someone decided I should have several.
So addictions aside, there is always the disease. That'll be with me forever. "Alcoholism" (whatever the fuck that is) will be with me forever. I'm damaged goods. Who the fuck wants to mess around with that?!
"In this same bar where you slammed down your hand
And said, "Amanda, I'm in love"
No you're not
You're just a sucker for the ones who use you
And it doesn't matter what I say or do
The stupid bastard's gonna have his way with you
I never met a more impossible girl.."
Last Night:
So last night I went to a party at a friend's place. Pretty small just our little circle of 4 friends, and 2 guests that were visiting from Australia. So we rented Superbad and got trashed. Wait no. I got trashed while everyone watched. It is honestly kind of scary, the amount of liquor I can consume. I don't remember an exact number, but I drank somewhere around 3 glasses of wine, 5 rum and cokes, and a few shots of schnapps before I blacked out. I am a fucking idiot. This whole binge drinking bullshit has to stop. I'm fucking 20 years old, a college graduate, with a good fulltime job. Meaning that I need to grow the fuck up. Easier said than done however. I kicked the drug habit and replaced it with drinking. If/when I stop drinking excessively, what will step in as my new addiction? I'm not worried about going back to drugs. That will never happen. I've had other addictions, unmentionable ones. And it's those ones that I'm worried about. We all have our battles. I guess someone decided I should have several.
So addictions aside, there is always the disease. That'll be with me forever. "Alcoholism" (whatever the fuck that is) will be with me forever. I'm damaged goods. Who the fuck wants to mess around with that?!
"In this same bar where you slammed down your hand
And said, "Amanda, I'm in love"
No you're not
You're just a sucker for the ones who use you
And it doesn't matter what I say or do
The stupid bastard's gonna have his way with you
I never met a more impossible girl.."
Last Night:
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
radyn:
Hehe, thanks, I'm sure you've recovered from your binge drinking, if not, I'm impressed.
kirin_ka:
Writing is a great hobby to have. I wish I could be more dedicated to it. I have the stories in my head, I just can't sit and write.