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sweetmistake

Sulphur, Louisiana

Member Since 2007

Followers 45 Following 61

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Saturday Apr 19, 2008

Apr 19, 2008
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Perhaps my biggest mistake is that I'm waiting for something to make everything "okay" when it could just be okay now. Like, for example, "I'll be okay with myself if I just lose a few more pounds" or "I'll like my life if I just get a better paying job" when it's all just in your mind anyway. Truth is, if I lose all the weight i want to right now sitting here as I type this, I'll still find something about myself to dislke. It was just a thought I got looking in the mirror today at work. I was standing there, poking at my side and thinking, god maybe I'd be beautiful if I just lost some weight...then it hit me. Why can't I be beautiful now? Sure, I'm not typically hot, and I don't see myself as hot at all, nor do I think I ever will, but I'm not naive enough to think seriously that shedding 30 pounds will make my life better. It won't make me a better person.

It's weird because you're told this shit all your life, but untli it clicks in your head? You really don't get it or buy into it.

I'm nowhere close to "getting" it yet, but I think today I got a little closer.

Turning a year older will do that to you, usually. Turning 26 on monday. I really thought I'd feel (and be) more grown up by now you know?
skull_kid:
That's how I always am, but with me it's less about physical looks and more about the pain/stress I'm in. I always think these little things are going to make a big difference, but they only make things better for a day or two.

Still though, I'm in a better position now than I was a few years ago, so maybe all the little things add up.

You're beautiful though. Stop worrying about it!
Apr 20, 2008
jericho:
I think i know what you mean. Sometimes hwen I think I 'get it' something happens and I'm confused again.
Apr 24, 2008

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