swanage

Dear Annoying Waiter,

When I order a Guiness, please, please refrain from making the tired old jokes. I know that here in America people predominantly drink much lighter beers. I know that here in America, for some unfathomable reason, people even elect to drink beers with 'Light' in the name. I even know that Guiness carries a bit more mass and texture with it than you're used to.

I do not begrudge you for drinking the yeast infested turpentine known as Budweiser. I do not make clever jabs at the water content of Coors. Unless of course I've had one too many Guiness and we're all making dumb jokes anyways.

But the point remains, when I'm sober, kindly just bring me my creamy pint of Irish Stout without the clever quips. I've heard them all before.

Please take this advice to heart as the service was peerless and despite your annoying prattle I left you a big juicy tip.

-Swanage