I feel like I'm such a downer but I really don't have any other outlet.
I'm not sure what is wrong with me but I'm feeling very down and then I'll be fine for a little while then I go back down. Especially when it comes to my relationship. I love him and want to marry him and have another baby....then, looking at him makes me frustrated and anger filled. I start thinking crazy things like he doesn't really love me, and he's only with me since we have a child (I got pregnant very early in our relationship, so it's hard for me to not feel that way since it's the only thing I know.)
I'm just sad. I think everyday about how he cheated on me after I told him I was pregnant and I obsess over this disgusting chick who I shouldn't think twice about. I start thinking is she better than me? Is she prettier than me? She probably looks at me like haha I had your man....cause she's a whore and throws her dirty pussy all around town. I literally can't handle living in the same city as her. I ran into her the other night while I was enjoying a rare night out with a girl friend. What a buzz kill. She tried to have me kicked out of the bar. Like fuckkkk you bitch! I ended up staying and she got escorted out by security cause she thought I was going to "jump" her. Lol. I would never jump her. one on one is best for me. lol.
Wowwwww.....I wasn't even planning on going on that rant.
Obviously I need some therapy, but it's too expensive. Fuck. Shit. Cunt. Bitch.
Had to get that out.
Idk. What to do...
I read this thing that said "only think thoughts that you would keep in a vase." So I try to think happy and positive but as soon as something triggers a memory of this issue it just explodes. It cuts so deep. I can't heal.
:(
