sushi

What?!? Like you don't hit your girl!

I've neglected my journal writing responsibilities. Not that anyone actually reads these, but still... I shouldn't let that detour me from reporting. It's my function. ...or something. Sorry, I've been reading a lot of Sandman lately and all the anthropomorphic personification of what-have-you has gotten me feeling as though I should find something to represent and embody it. Doesn't even have to be anything cool or useful. Like straw wrappers or something would be fine... My job would be to be the essence of paper slips used to cover little liquid vacuum tubes for the brief time between their production and their actual use. Then my job would be either to be blown off of the straw into the face of the person sitting across from the user, or to be crushed into a truncated version of my former self then doused with water so that I grow all wormlike into an all-new regular-sized me... albeit soaked. I would fulfill this need of humanity to the fullest of my capabilities and would not change... unless the need arose. Anyway... point is this: Journal, Diary, Blog... you go by many names, but I'm afraid I have insulted them all. I just want to say "Baby, I know I've done you wrong... but I... I swear I'll never do it again. Sometimes you just drive me crazy and well... I just lose it. But my fingers are no longer a fist and they're ready once again for typing. If you'll take me back I'll write every wrong out of our lives and you'll forget all about the time I wasn't around."

.....

"Thank you... I knew that you would."

First things first then... for my dear diary: Contrary to earlier reports, I have not neglected my journal writing responsibilities. This was a horrible lie concocted by forces scheming to tear you and I apart. There never was a period when I stopped writing and that's the truth. I have always loved only you, my dear, and were you to ever look back upon yourself to previous dates, you would find no blanks. You won't do this, of course. Because I just wrote that you won't. And you are, afterall, what I write. Now... let us together tell the world what they have missed of our lives as of late.

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Josh turned 21. He had the best birthday party I've attended in quite a while. Given... the previous two birthday parties I attended consisted of awkwardly breaking up with my girlfriend and awkwardly meeting my girlfriend reverse-respectively (is their a word for that? retrospectively? forspectively?), but I think it was a super party regardless. There was a cowboy theme and a few of us (myself included) dressed the part. The award for most awesomest cowboy in all the land went to Travis. He was decked in all white... almost appearing to be a southern gentleman (ala Colonel Sanders), but juuuust gritty enough to sling his sixshooters with the best of the west. If the whole lawless thing hadn't been so popular, I am certain he would have been king of the cowfolk. There were games a-plenty the likes of which you have never seen!!! ...assuming you have never seen a game of four-square. But really... it was some pretty kickass four-square. We're talkin Ultra-21st-Birthday-Four-Square rules here. What? you've never played ultra-21st-birthday-four-square? Well that's what I thought!!! Jeez... trust me next time I tell you something was the "likes of which you have never seen", will you? There was also some ragtag dodgeball type game going on, but 90% of the people seemed to not understand the point so they huddled in the corner and got bonked by the few who did. Which was the point all along, you fools! My fifteen minutes came with the lynching of the pinatas. I was able to display for all the onlooking young ladies my superior tree-climbing prowess after unsuccessfully trying to throw the loose end of the rope connected to the pinata over a high limb. They oooh'd and ahhhh'd at my apelike abilities and I am certain that all of them... each and every one... simultaneously wished I was their lover... if only for an instant. However, after having scaled the tree and returned to my earthbound self-- a walking-embodiment-of-social-ineptitude-- they quickly disregarded such thoughts and shortly thereafter forgot that they had ever had them. Dean decapitated the donkey pinata. I guted it. Candy was dispersed. We played baseball with the parrot pinata. I don't remember who broke it... maybe even me? Anyway... more candy was spilled this day than the great pinata war of '76. Also... I got Josh some cheesy old horror movies and a Johnny Cash documentary. I think he was pleased. The night was concluded with a storm and a midnight viewing of Hellraiser. And all was well on the western front.

In other news, Joe's team has yet to win a softball game. I think God is laughing. Last thursday, however, Joe hit a wonderful homerun and I was incredibly proud of him. It was the loudest I have cheered anything in a very long time... and it was genuine. Felt good. After the game I went and watched a couple of movies with my friend Holly. Oh yeah... I met a lovely girl named Holly. I like to say things like "oh yeah" before using adjectives like "lovely". It gives the illusion that I am aloof or unaffected when in actuality I am quite excited. She has excellent taste in film and I am lucky to have met her. I like movies. I like watching movies. I like lovely girls. I like watching movies with lovely girls. Therefore I appreciate our movie-watching endeavor and hope that it continues. This particular evening was a viewing of the 5th Element/Princess and the Warrior double feature. It was a hefty step up from our last encounter... in which only one movie was watched. Given the exponential rate of our progress, there's no telling how many back-to-back-to-backs we will be forced to see in order to keep things new and exciting. In a relationship based on the cinema there's only so many hours you can stay awake to cram more in.... gasp! what on earth are we to do? More importantly... when do I discuss the possibility of watching Edward Scissorhands? This is something sacred to me and can make or break a movie-watching-partner... I know! I know! I'm getting ahead of myself... but it's only natural when these situations develop to ponder the future of your viewing experience... or even other realms... like... the theater? One foot before the other, Will.

Oh, metaphor! What would I do without you? I'm such a fucking coward.

Alas, this is slowly becoming a monstrous entry so I think I'll stop and continue where I left off another time.... but if that time is too far in the future, then remember this my dear diary: "It isn't."