The following crap happens to Susan, on average, at least 3 times DAILY. Getting a smidge old.
1. She walks into a spiderweb, even when there's nothing around for a spider to possibly attach sticky ass-string to. Nature finds a way.
2. A tiny bug, or speck of dirt, or her own eyelashes (and sometimes head-hair) will become lodged in one of her eyeballs and be impossible to blink out. This usually happens right as the bus is approaching and she's fishing in her fucking black hole of a bag for her bus pass. Good times.
3. Gross old guys, or backward-hat wearing guys in bro trucks, or suv's/hummers full of black guys will honk/scream something unintelligible and COMPLETELY SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF HER causing her to flinch violently and sometimes drop whatever she's carrying. Endless amusement for bystanders, very annoying and embarassing for her.
4. She will be asked by ten million billion people and four bus drivers what the tattoos on her arms say. She will have to repeat herself to each of them at least twice.
5. She will smash an appendage into a doorway or pole of some sort and will usually yelp. The neighbors are probably becoming suspicious.
...I so need employment and money.
1. She walks into a spiderweb, even when there's nothing around for a spider to possibly attach sticky ass-string to. Nature finds a way.
2. A tiny bug, or speck of dirt, or her own eyelashes (and sometimes head-hair) will become lodged in one of her eyeballs and be impossible to blink out. This usually happens right as the bus is approaching and she's fishing in her fucking black hole of a bag for her bus pass. Good times.
3. Gross old guys, or backward-hat wearing guys in bro trucks, or suv's/hummers full of black guys will honk/scream something unintelligible and COMPLETELY SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF HER causing her to flinch violently and sometimes drop whatever she's carrying. Endless amusement for bystanders, very annoying and embarassing for her.
4. She will be asked by ten million billion people and four bus drivers what the tattoos on her arms say. She will have to repeat herself to each of them at least twice.
5. She will smash an appendage into a doorway or pole of some sort and will usually yelp. The neighbors are probably becoming suspicious.
...I so need employment and money.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
If some Bro's come in to buy beer and camel lights and skoal... I charge them extra.
Also, Did you check out Celeb Worship yet?
Because really. It is awesome.
[Edited on Oct 17, 2005 9:08PM]
dont be a stranger