I have a really hard time saying what I'm feeling lately, I don't know why, but the latest homework assigned by @bloghomework @missy @lyxzen and @rambo about what SG means to you has really touched me, so I'm going to try really hard this time. Reading @sunshine 's blog, @rambo 's blog, and @chrysis 's blog particularly has made me remember why I first wanted to join SG back in 2005 when I turned 18. I didn't have any tattoos or wildly colored hair, but all I knew was that I wanted to be just like those girls I'd seen on SG's Myspace page, confident in their sexuality and in who they are. So I applied. I was heartbroken when I got the email saying I wasn't exactly what they were looking for, but looking back at it now, I feel like the years between when I first applied in 2005 and again in 2011 (which is when I got the acceptance email for being a Hopeful!) allowed me to grow and mature, so that I could take disappointment better. I'm still struggling to shoot my debut set and get the actual Hopeful title, but I'm not giving up hope. I just know that now is not my time yet, and I'm trying to use this time to grow stronger as a model.
I've made many friends here already, even without the Hopeful title showing on my page, and everyone has been so supportive throughout everything that's happened since I got my own account a few years back. (I had a different username at the time. This one suits me better.) Without SG I wouldn't know my darling @arsenic_ who is always there and always rooting for me. I wouldn't have met and made friends with @blu @bepps @pokes @pthalo and the rest of the awesome Chat crew. I seriously miss chat, because we had many nights of great conversations and drinking games and boobies! I'm constantly hoping that chat will come back to SG because it's formed many of the great friendships I feel that I've made here. I first saw @odette @sin and @ashlynn there as well.
Without SG I would never have found @riae 's gorgeous sets or @venom 's amazing interpretation of Khaleesi. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel like I've found a home away from home online here at SG, and while the current drama is making me sad, I'm trying to remain positive and see how SG has changed life (and me) for the better over here. Prior to finding the positive ladies over here, I was a Debby Downer, and now I purposely look for the silver lining in any dark clouds. I still struggle, but the fact I recognize it as a fault is thanks to SG, and the fact that I'm doing much better at it is also thanks to SG.
Thanks for listening, and thanks for all your support!
xoxo
Surreal
