Hello my hard peaches and green bananas,
I am so so so not ready.
So instead of thinking about what I should be thinking about, or reading what I should be reading, or cleaning what I should be cleaning, I am gonna make a series of lists.
David Bowie dance moves that baffle me
1. Every god damn thing in this video. Try any of them out, they are fucking absurd.
Flavors of seltzer water I enjoy
Lime
Mandarin Orange
Pomagranate
Plain
Vanilla
Things I would do if I was a boy for an hour (in no particular order)
shave my face
masturbate
try to make my dick spin like pastie tassels
sit on the bus with my legs open really wide
go someplace public so when I switch back to a girl it would freak everyone out!!!
Sitcoms I watch, but lie about watching.
Friends
Things I do with my friend Dan
Talk shit
drink wine
watch movies in black and white
eat food we see on TV
drink wine
and lemonade
Things I like about the state of florida
The ocean is warm
Key West is very gay
Cuban pastries
lychee wine
huge tropical plants, just sitting around.
Post a list of your own in the comments
I am so so so not ready.
So instead of thinking about what I should be thinking about, or reading what I should be reading, or cleaning what I should be cleaning, I am gonna make a series of lists.
David Bowie dance moves that baffle me
1. Every god damn thing in this video. Try any of them out, they are fucking absurd.
Flavors of seltzer water I enjoy
Lime
Mandarin Orange
Pomagranate
Plain
Vanilla
Things I would do if I was a boy for an hour (in no particular order)
shave my face
masturbate
try to make my dick spin like pastie tassels
sit on the bus with my legs open really wide
go someplace public so when I switch back to a girl it would freak everyone out!!!
Sitcoms I watch, but lie about watching.
Friends
Things I do with my friend Dan
Talk shit
drink wine
watch movies in black and white
eat food we see on TV
drink wine
and lemonade
Things I like about the state of florida
The ocean is warm
Key West is very gay
Cuban pastries
lychee wine
huge tropical plants, just sitting around.
Post a list of your own in the comments
VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
1. Kindness
2. compassion, but not so much compassion that she won't eat meat, wear leather, etc. If called upon, she should be able to slaughter the animal as well as cook it.
3. someone who's actually ready when I come to pick her up for a date.
4. quietness. I don't like women who talk a lot. My ideal woman would be beautiful and mute --like Nova from "Planet of the Apes"
5. someone who doesn't fart, at least, not in my presence.
I really don't think I'm asking for too much.
you'll do great girlie...you will probably start feeling oober ready as it nears closer to that date.....you can read all you want but the labor is going to go how it goes. the doc will walk you through most everything....just remmeber when its all said and done you'll have a perfect little darling in your arms that you get to love EVERY day for the rest of your life
ps- vanilla seltzer?!?! my grocrey stores carry this NOT! sounds amazing. id just about die without seltzer