Dear Flying Spaghetti Monster,
Look, I know I don't ask you for much. Ok, so I don't ask you for anything, really. Well, nothing that doesn't involve stuffed shells and pesto sauce. But look, I could really use some help here. You know about Motley Crue, right? Yeah. Yeah, they did that one song about a doctor who feels good. What? Yeah, you're right - that one dude from the band DID marry Pamela Anderson.
I totally agree - I didn't think it was possible to take a step down from Tommy Lee, but hey, when the Apocalypse comes, there'll be roaches, twinkies, and Kid Rock. What? There's not going to be an apocalypse? Just a really nice dinner with wine and breadsticks? You know, that's a religion I can really get behind.
ANYWAY, like I said, I could really use your help. See, I've had the song "Kickstart My Heart" stuck in my head for the past week, and I've had just about enough of it. Come on, you remember how it goes. Don't make me sing it. Ok, fine, whatever.
"Skydive naked
From an aeroplane
Or a lady with a
Body from outerspace
My heart, my heart
Kickstart my heart
Say I got trouble
Trouble in my eyes
I'm just looking for
Another good time
My heart, my heart
Kickstart my heart
Yeh, are you ready girls?
Yeh, are you ready now?
Ooh, yeah
Kickstart my heart
Give it a start
Ooh, yeah, baby
Ooh, yeah
Kickstart my heart
Hope it never stops
Ooh, yeah, baby"
Are you happy now? I think I'd be fine if that song could just be wiped from my memory. Really? You'd do that? Thanks! Ahhhhhh....much better! Wait a minute...there's a little tickle in my brain...OH CRAP.
You know, I probably should have been more specific. I didn't want you to replace it with something else, I just wanted it GONE. No. No song from Mary Poppins is better than a Motley Crue song. ESPECIALLY one with the lyrics
"I choose me bristles with pride,
Yes, I do,
A broom for the shaft
And a broom for the flume"
Yeah? Will chim-chim-cheroo to you, too!
Noodley bastard.
Look, I know I don't ask you for much. Ok, so I don't ask you for anything, really. Well, nothing that doesn't involve stuffed shells and pesto sauce. But look, I could really use some help here. You know about Motley Crue, right? Yeah. Yeah, they did that one song about a doctor who feels good. What? Yeah, you're right - that one dude from the band DID marry Pamela Anderson.
I totally agree - I didn't think it was possible to take a step down from Tommy Lee, but hey, when the Apocalypse comes, there'll be roaches, twinkies, and Kid Rock. What? There's not going to be an apocalypse? Just a really nice dinner with wine and breadsticks? You know, that's a religion I can really get behind.
ANYWAY, like I said, I could really use your help. See, I've had the song "Kickstart My Heart" stuck in my head for the past week, and I've had just about enough of it. Come on, you remember how it goes. Don't make me sing it. Ok, fine, whatever.
"Skydive naked
From an aeroplane
Or a lady with a
Body from outerspace
My heart, my heart
Kickstart my heart
Say I got trouble
Trouble in my eyes
I'm just looking for
Another good time
My heart, my heart
Kickstart my heart
Yeh, are you ready girls?
Yeh, are you ready now?
Ooh, yeah
Kickstart my heart
Give it a start
Ooh, yeah, baby
Ooh, yeah
Kickstart my heart
Hope it never stops
Ooh, yeah, baby"
Are you happy now? I think I'd be fine if that song could just be wiped from my memory. Really? You'd do that? Thanks! Ahhhhhh....much better! Wait a minute...there's a little tickle in my brain...OH CRAP.
You know, I probably should have been more specific. I didn't want you to replace it with something else, I just wanted it GONE. No. No song from Mary Poppins is better than a Motley Crue song. ESPECIALLY one with the lyrics
"I choose me bristles with pride,
Yes, I do,
A broom for the shaft
And a broom for the flume"
Yeah? Will chim-chim-cheroo to you, too!
Noodley bastard.