so, a journal entry of mine just turned out really well for me. I just feel like I figured some shit out so, I thought I should share...
After spending quite some time with friends of mine who are in long-term functioning relationships I've started thinking about what it is I'm looking for in a partner in life so, I figured I'd make a list to keep things clear for myself. A sort of checklist to use before I get involved with anyone again.
THINGS i'M LOOKING FOR IN A SIGNIFICANT OTHER:
-Hobbies (i.e. a life and interests that don't need to involve me)
-Is clean (not too neat but at least washes dishes and does laundry)
-Is my partner b/c he/she wants to share closeness (not because they need to be validated)
-Has long-term life goals (achievable and taking steps to accomplish them)
-Can be understanding of where I'm coming from (NOT judgmental)
-Has friends who are both fun and driven (NOT drug addicts)
-Educated (not necessarily a degree but at least tries to remain informed about the world)
-Has an interest in music (playing an instrument helps)
-Is creative (keeps childlike imagination alive)
-Makes me laugh
-Wants me to be happy
-Likes the outdoors
-Isn't religious
. . . the list continues. However, I realized after starting this list that I don't deserve these things from a partner until I can bring the same to a relationship. These are the things that I need to work on for myself before I can handle being with someone. If I'm going to decide to date someone again, they deserve the best me I can be. It will take some time but, I think I can fix me and work this all out.
After spending quite some time with friends of mine who are in long-term functioning relationships I've started thinking about what it is I'm looking for in a partner in life so, I figured I'd make a list to keep things clear for myself. A sort of checklist to use before I get involved with anyone again.
THINGS i'M LOOKING FOR IN A SIGNIFICANT OTHER:
-Hobbies (i.e. a life and interests that don't need to involve me)
-Is clean (not too neat but at least washes dishes and does laundry)
-Is my partner b/c he/she wants to share closeness (not because they need to be validated)
-Has long-term life goals (achievable and taking steps to accomplish them)
-Can be understanding of where I'm coming from (NOT judgmental)
-Has friends who are both fun and driven (NOT drug addicts)
-Educated (not necessarily a degree but at least tries to remain informed about the world)
-Has an interest in music (playing an instrument helps)
-Is creative (keeps childlike imagination alive)
-Makes me laugh
-Wants me to be happy
-Likes the outdoors
-Isn't religious
. . . the list continues. However, I realized after starting this list that I don't deserve these things from a partner until I can bring the same to a relationship. These are the things that I need to work on for myself before I can handle being with someone. If I'm going to decide to date someone again, they deserve the best me I can be. It will take some time but, I think I can fix me and work this all out.

andthen:
-They like me for the parts I like about myself.