ok... so I'm a horrible person. I'm a cheater. This wasn't the first time I've cheated but it was the first time I've cheated on my current b/f. I thought this relationship was different. I thought I was different.
To explain:
About 5 years ago i was dating a beautiful boy who was my high school sweetheart. I was head over heels for him to the point of being a little crazy. We graduated, spent a vacation together, fought horribly and he left me. He broke my heart and dumped me. On top of that he decided to join the marines. He flew off to travel the world while I picked up my broken pieces.
Fast forward to now. That beautiful boy and I have had an on and off friendship via the internet since he left and now he's back. His contract is up and now, for the foreseeable future, he'll be living less than thirty minutes away from me.
But wait! Did i forget to mention I've been dating a wonderful man for almost two years now?
Oh, yeah... him.
My boyfriend and I live together and he's a wonderful guy. He's sweet to me. We almost never fight. He's considerate and he's thoughtful. I love his family and the way he sees the world. I love that he accepts my craziness and isn't scared of it. He really makes sense on paper.
But for some reason I don't feel that spark. When we first started dating i never saw it getting this serious. Now that my life is kinda moving into a different stage I feel like we're growing apart. I have no interest in having sex with him. I feel super bad about it, but it just doesn't feel right when he touches me and it makes me wanna cry -which by the way is not awesome foreplay.
Last Saturday
That beautiful boy from high school and i decided to hang out. One thing led to another and i did a very bad thing. It felt amazing. I felt alive again. With him i feel like i can be totally honest and myself.
He inspires me to write and paint and sing.
But I'm laden with guilt and it's eating at me. I could never tell my boyfriend. It would destroy him, but I've got to do something.
I'm soo confused.
To explain:
About 5 years ago i was dating a beautiful boy who was my high school sweetheart. I was head over heels for him to the point of being a little crazy. We graduated, spent a vacation together, fought horribly and he left me. He broke my heart and dumped me. On top of that he decided to join the marines. He flew off to travel the world while I picked up my broken pieces.
Fast forward to now. That beautiful boy and I have had an on and off friendship via the internet since he left and now he's back. His contract is up and now, for the foreseeable future, he'll be living less than thirty minutes away from me.
But wait! Did i forget to mention I've been dating a wonderful man for almost two years now?
Oh, yeah... him.
My boyfriend and I live together and he's a wonderful guy. He's sweet to me. We almost never fight. He's considerate and he's thoughtful. I love his family and the way he sees the world. I love that he accepts my craziness and isn't scared of it. He really makes sense on paper.
But for some reason I don't feel that spark. When we first started dating i never saw it getting this serious. Now that my life is kinda moving into a different stage I feel like we're growing apart. I have no interest in having sex with him. I feel super bad about it, but it just doesn't feel right when he touches me and it makes me wanna cry -which by the way is not awesome foreplay.
Last Saturday
That beautiful boy from high school and i decided to hang out. One thing led to another and i did a very bad thing. It felt amazing. I felt alive again. With him i feel like i can be totally honest and myself.
He inspires me to write and paint and sing.
But I'm laden with guilt and it's eating at me. I could never tell my boyfriend. It would destroy him, but I've got to do something.
I'm soo confused.
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I don't know if your looking for advice but i think you already know what you want to do, I only ask that you think about if you want to be with this new/ old guy or if he is just the reason why you will break up with your current boyfriend if that's what you decide to do. Because that all that i turned out to be was a reason, or excuse and thats all i ended up being.