have you ever felt like you were two people at once?
i have this one side that is extremely happy... it wants to do everything that i never got a chance to do. it wants to take chances and live life. it wants to be in love. it wants to feel and experience everything!
then there's the other side... the one that's lonely. the one that's tired of being alone. the one that feels like everyone else is having more fun. the one that's always saying the wrong things. the one who has the crush on the far away girl. the one who wants life to just work out without me having to beat myself into submission.
most of the time the other side is the one that shows... and i don't like that.
please more randomness... must stop thinking. must stop feeling.
edited to clarify: the crush on the far away girl isn't a bad thing... it's the far away part that hurts. but, it could be worse.
edited to add: rxqueen hates me. i'm sorry rxqueen. i still like you!
i have this one side that is extremely happy... it wants to do everything that i never got a chance to do. it wants to take chances and live life. it wants to be in love. it wants to feel and experience everything!
then there's the other side... the one that's lonely. the one that's tired of being alone. the one that feels like everyone else is having more fun. the one that's always saying the wrong things. the one who has the crush on the far away girl. the one who wants life to just work out without me having to beat myself into submission.
most of the time the other side is the one that shows... and i don't like that.
please more randomness... must stop thinking. must stop feeling.
edited to clarify: the crush on the far away girl isn't a bad thing... it's the far away part that hurts. but, it could be worse.
edited to add: rxqueen hates me. i'm sorry rxqueen. i still like you!
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xoxoxo csilla
thats to make you feel better. dont forget j, this is still all new. you went from feeling completely like shit not that long ago to being completely in love. ak. of course youre gonna feel torn between these two personalities. i know how youre feeling right now. im torn between being happy and making someone happy and right now theyre both just as important to me. you just have to figure things out as you go. if you like rx, then see her when you can. i know one of the problems from your last relationship was the too much money spending... maybe you should just try and do what you have to do to make yourself happy for now. avoid other relationships. remember if all works out youll be living near rx soon enough. but thatll never happen if you spend all your money before that.
anyways, just try and focus on yourself. need to be happy.