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superfall

Kissimmee, Florida

Member Since 2006

Followers 27 Following 48

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Monday Jul 17, 2006

Jul 17, 2006
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Everything at work has snowballed. It seems to be spiriling out of control. One of the problems with having debts is the inability to say fuck it and leave when a job conflicts with your ethics and or morals. That was a position I told myself I would never get into again, but here I am.

I rarely drink, but tonight I finished off half a fifth of Jack Daniels to take the edge off. This is the second time in two weeks that I came home with a feeling that I needed a drink. That is something else I always told myself I wouldn't do.

The last thing I need to do is increase my debts, but I'm scheduled for laser surgery on my eyes this week. I've waited twenty years for this and I can't turn away. During my long weekend to recuperate I'm going to update my resume and start posting it. While I'm making more money than I ever have before, it's not worth it. Especially when I know the person I replaced was making almost twice what I am with no more education and not much more experience.

This weekend I got to thinking of that Rolling Stones song " I see a red door and I want to paint it black". It's always been a theme to my depression when it seizes me. frown

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