superbeasto

"Cannot stop the thought
Of running in the dark
Coming up, a which way sign
All good truants must decide"
"Immortality" - Pearl Jam

Last couple of weeks have been strange, as my Gran(the fantastic Muriel Andrews) passed away and it was the first time anything like that's happened while I've been old enough to understand it, and the whole process was incredibly odd. Our family are quite fractured, due to distance in some cases and in other cases just down to personalitys which really don't click, so this was probably the first time all of those people had gathered in the same room together for years. That in itself was very overwhelming, but adding in the circumstance it just floored me. I don't let bad news sink in, it's a coping mechanism I seem to have developed a few years back, so it really wasn't until I was standing by the grave that it actually felt real. My Gran rocked and it's sad that she's gone, but mainly I feel for my mum, because if it's been tough for us it must be awful for her.
With all that weighing on my mind it's put a whole load of things in my own life into perspective, in that I really do waste the majority of my time. I've got a girlfriend who I'm head over heels in love with who I really take for granted most of the time, a passion for music but a seeming inability to get off my lazy arse and make something of it, and a job which I despise but have been in for about 5 years now. I don't know how, but it's time to shake things up a bit. Please form an orderly cue and kick me in the arse repeatedly until I get my fucking act together.