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super_vixen

Orlando

Member Since 2005

Followers 127 Following 133

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Monday Oct 17, 2005

Oct 17, 2005
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So...I haven't been around much lately. Cupid took his pointy little dart and stabbed it clean through my beating heart. I met the most wonderful guy when he was body painting at Fusion. Beautiful...and we clicked immediately. I knew from the first moment that I had to be with him. He actually made me get all giddy and nervous while I was bartending. I'm usually totally in control behind the bar, but every time we locked eyes I'd find myself dropping bottles and spilling drinks.
Things were wonderful for almost a month. Then....with no warning, while I was still dancing on cloud nine, he realized that he's not ready for a relationship. It wasn't just some bullshit excuse either, at least I hope not. We both realize that we had to break up....but I feel like a piece of me is gone. I never let anyone get close to me. I've been single for almost 2 years, and any other relationship I've been in brought relief when it was over.
I completely broken up about it. Can't fall asleep....dream about him all the time...don't want to get out of bed when I wake up. But the wound is still fresh, and it's not a pain I'm acustomed too.
I've been keeping really busy with school and work in the meantime. I'm heading up the team to promote MTV's Headbangers Ball at Fusion this Thursday night. One last long day of working on the promotions, and it should be out of my hands. My holocaust class is really depressing, and I miss having my boy around to help me out of it.
I got a new tattoo on my wrist to help ease the pain. I also got one on the back of my leg retouched, but it hurts like a mother fucker. The boots I wear to work have hindered the healing, and it looks pretty raunchy right now. Another few days and it should look ok again...then it's on to the other leg.
I'm trying to get my life back together. I know we were only together a short time, but my life was a mess before he came along...he opened my eyes to that, and for that I am eternally grateful.
I'm in the middle of reading Man's Search for Meaning for my Lit class....it's really interesting so far and it's the first piece of any value that I've read in months. That's it for now.....keeping updating is on my list of things I need to be doing for myself.

Ciao
corymeyer:
Sorry to hear about that.
Oct 22, 2005

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