I feel a lot better today. Something about pride, isolation or stubborness let me hit rock bottom on Friday. Somewhere along the line I convinced myself it's always safer to be alone, to hell with the world and their self serving actions and opinions. It was natural for me to hide my feelings, be ashamed of them. Anyway, later that night, I confided in a friend who helped me snap out of it. We met up with the girls downtown and had a fucking blast. Hooray for women and gin! I went home wondering what a fool I'd been. I am and have always been the kick ass person I know I am, it's that I've been stopping at the border to the outside world and letting a scared child go in my place. I am this great warrior-poet, but I let the world see a temper, frowns, negativity and sadness. I let them run wild, unchecked. It's easy to curb it once you realize there was truly nothing to be afraid of. I've got to go in to school now, I'm gonna start uploading some of my work. It'd be a neat trick if somebody saw it, but for now, I still hollar into the abyss.
