Today i found my molskine journal from high school. I read all of it and now I'm pretty confused. Was I really this way? I was so hopeful, what happened there? The last few pages read like a mission statement. Its almost funny how wise I thought I was.
Here's my "highschool meaning of life, the world, and everything" re-typed:
though i haven't gotten the best hand in life i still believe in humility and the right to life. i understand my actions effect others as well as myself; for that is what sets us apart from animals: self awareness.
i am not truth, just interpetation. i do not believe i have all the answers. and lately i have become more open to this idea.
to put this frankly i have no idea what i am doing with my life. but i'm still living, the only way i've come to find is the most furfilling: to take it all in and just let go.
we are all boomerangs. we will return to our pasts. everyone will come back one day. the only problem is you will leave as well. they come back to you, but will you still be there? creatures of habit we return to what we know. sometimes we find that when we go back what we use to know has changed some how. but the habit keeps you there; pretending you're happy and nothing has gone. changing is the ever constant.
..truth is you never really know who you are: you know who you use to be, and who you hope you are in the future; but right now, this second you are nobody but the actions you take part in and the love you give and recieve. choose your ways wisely they become apart of you in the end. ..realize that acting like you have nothing to lose can actually lose all that you have. if you love her tell her and have no regrets. and dont worry about the fall cause somewhere theres someone walking whos done it all. just leap with your heart if thats what youre feeling, thoughts of what could have been will plague you more than falling on your face in front of your entire graduating class.
..if the stove is hot quit grabbing it. if something hurts you horribly dont go back to it again and again if its wrong. learn how to treat yourself right, show people how to treat you the same way. put yourself first sometimes, going last gets you left there.
and if something in the pit of your stomach makes you want to look back as you're walking away, do it. cause you might not be on your way back this second, but atleast when you do you'll know the way.
i remain determined and committed to the basic idea that in life we are not just floating around waiting for our turn in the looney bin, but rather that life should be alot like love. You don't necessarily choose the best person, or the wisest or the most beautiful; there's something else going on there. i do not believe life should be flat and without turns. i do not believe we can never amount to anything. life is a long series of momments, each one interchanging, and one always more exciting than the next. in the simplest of terms and to use the biggest french cliche'...carpe diem.
Here's my "highschool meaning of life, the world, and everything" re-typed:
though i haven't gotten the best hand in life i still believe in humility and the right to life. i understand my actions effect others as well as myself; for that is what sets us apart from animals: self awareness.
i am not truth, just interpetation. i do not believe i have all the answers. and lately i have become more open to this idea.
to put this frankly i have no idea what i am doing with my life. but i'm still living, the only way i've come to find is the most furfilling: to take it all in and just let go.
we are all boomerangs. we will return to our pasts. everyone will come back one day. the only problem is you will leave as well. they come back to you, but will you still be there? creatures of habit we return to what we know. sometimes we find that when we go back what we use to know has changed some how. but the habit keeps you there; pretending you're happy and nothing has gone. changing is the ever constant.
..truth is you never really know who you are: you know who you use to be, and who you hope you are in the future; but right now, this second you are nobody but the actions you take part in and the love you give and recieve. choose your ways wisely they become apart of you in the end. ..realize that acting like you have nothing to lose can actually lose all that you have. if you love her tell her and have no regrets. and dont worry about the fall cause somewhere theres someone walking whos done it all. just leap with your heart if thats what youre feeling, thoughts of what could have been will plague you more than falling on your face in front of your entire graduating class.
..if the stove is hot quit grabbing it. if something hurts you horribly dont go back to it again and again if its wrong. learn how to treat yourself right, show people how to treat you the same way. put yourself first sometimes, going last gets you left there.
and if something in the pit of your stomach makes you want to look back as you're walking away, do it. cause you might not be on your way back this second, but atleast when you do you'll know the way.
i remain determined and committed to the basic idea that in life we are not just floating around waiting for our turn in the looney bin, but rather that life should be alot like love. You don't necessarily choose the best person, or the wisest or the most beautiful; there's something else going on there. i do not believe life should be flat and without turns. i do not believe we can never amount to anything. life is a long series of momments, each one interchanging, and one always more exciting than the next. in the simplest of terms and to use the biggest french cliche'...carpe diem.
weston:
It's always fun going back and reading our older writings. I remember that was my class' "big" project in 8th grade...Black boxes. We wrote journals every Monday and Friday and at the end wrapped them all up in a big sheet of black paper (Hence the name black box). The final step was to store them away and on our high school graduation, open them up and read them. It was really nice to take that little step back into time and remember some of the good times I had forgotten about 